From most recent to oldest
|
|
2008 |
| |
|
|
845. |
Evidence suggests humans may have been traveling
across vast distances by boat at last ice age, long before men could
walk on water and part seas
|
|
844. |
Winning tickets to "American Idol" finale by
drinking pork blood soup really takes the sting out of mismanaged car
detail prize
|
|
843. |
Idea to structure NBA draft like MLB's draft
makes too much sense to consider
|
|
842. |
Jason Blake wants to stay with Maple Leafs,
inspired by Mats Sundin's willingness to keep losing
|
|
841. |
With the Rockies struggling, the Matt Holliday
sweepstakes may begin earlier than expected
|
|
840. |
Media forced to interview Mets closer who didn't
play because everyone else ducked out. They still got what they wanted
|
|
839. |
NFL teams are itching to move to the worst
pro-football market in the nation
|
|
838. |
ACLU membership has doubled during Bush
presidency
|
|
837. |
Mike D'Antoni's first order of business as the
Knicks coach is to try and trade the Knicks roster for the Suns roster
|
|
836. |
Manny Ramirez sets his sights on a gold glove
despite being replaced as a defensive liability late in games
|
|
835. |
"Fertilized egg is a person" ballot proposal may
mean that doctors can't treat women with cancer, birth control will be
banned, and sex with pregnant women may lead to sex with minors
charges
|
|
834. |
Ken Griffey, Jr wants out of Cincinnati, will
have to get in line
|
|
833. |
Kobe Bryant wins first MVP, settles off the
court
|
|
832. |
Pharoah Akhenaten had breasts, wide hips and an
egghead. Seems to have gotten a Ra deal after introducing monotheism
|
|
831. |
Man pushes Denver to proactively deal with
possible visits from space aliens. Yes, he is single and lives with
his parents. The article says so
|
|
830. |
Stripper comes forward to admit that she also
boned Kirby Puckett
|
|
829. |
A-Rod takes the blame for stint on DL, thought
he would always be a fast healer after he stopped doing whatever he
was doing
|
|
828. |
Barry Melrose may coach the Tampa Bay Lightning,
needs to mullet over
|
|
827. |
"Spam King" gets 21 months in federal prison,
will become "Sausage King"
|
|
826. |
If you allow Jaromir Jagr to get in your face
twice, you might be tulip. You just might be
|
|
825. |
George Karl may skip to New York after another
Nuggets one and done, so there is light at the end of the tunnel. For
Denver at least
|
|
824. |
Denver Broncos acquire defensive lineman with a
defective knee who didn't play for Cleveland
|
|
823. |
Jaromir Jagr believes Mario Lemieux was better
than Crosby and Malkin despite being a cancer in the locker room
|
|
822. |
Mike Bibby notices Celtics fans are bandwagon
jumpers. Playing in the worst sports city in America gives him a good
point of reference to know
|
|
821. |
Man sues Bulls mascot for rough high-five. Bulls
unsure when a high-five would have been warranted this year
|
|
820. |
Vikings working on deal to acquire Chiefs'
franchise player, deciding which half of their team to give up
|
|
819. |
A-Rod left Bobby Abreu hanging after he scored.
Tells him to not get upset, that's just how it goes, he don't love
them hoes
|
|
818. |
You soon won't have Isiah Thomas to kick around
any longer
|
|
817. |
The Colorado Avalanche defeat the Minnesota
Goon, 5-1
|
|
816. |
Hockey analyst misspoke when he said
'Crapitals', wants to move on to the next game with the Cryers
|
|
815. |
Notre Dame upsets Michigan and ruins all your
brackets, will meet Boston College for the NCAA hockey title
|
|
814. |
Current value of priest groping is $150,000 per
grope, further sign the economy is slowing
|
|
813. |
Ron Artest is deciding whether he will stay in
Sacramento by reading message boards (2nd item)
|
|
812. |
White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen claims umpires
hate him, no one sure why he limited it to only umpires
|
|
811. |
Tonight's game between the Nuggets and Warriors
may decide who makes the playoffs and who becomes the first lottery
team that is 20 games over .500
|
|
810. |
Keith Richards was McGyver before McGyver when
it came to heroin
|
|
809. |
Jamie Lynn Spears 'fiance' pulls gun on
photographer, does not squirt him
|
|
808. |
Survey shows NBA MVP race is down to Kobe Bryant
and Chris Paul. Those in the east need not apply
|
|
807. |
City worker suspended after asking Hispanic
co-workers how much it costs their "people to get across the border
these days." Wins appeal based on being Polish
|
|
806. |
Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Doug Davis gets a
win two days before cancer surgery
|
|
805. |
Sports choke jobs of such magnitude they warrant
their own pages in succession
|
|
804. |
Penguins threw final regular season game to
avoid playing Philadelphia in the playoffs, figure if they wait a
round the Flyers will be gone
|
|
803. |
Phillies and Mets have a lot of sexual tension
between them
|
|
802. |
60th Annual Conference on World Affairs
encourages people to think on everything from torture to hip hop.
That's two separate categories
|
|
801. |
Arsenal slipping further into American hands
|
|
800. |
Cardinals are concerned about Matt Leinart
getting play off the field, should be concerned about his play on the
field
|
|
799. |
Premature list of NCAA Tournament's best moments
misses out on chance to commemorate Kansas being eliminated
|
|
798. |
Golden State's win over Dallas creates three-way
tie for seventh place in the west with Nuggets
|
|
797. |
Hardball Made Easy - Spoof baseball
instructional video with Colorado Rockies' Brad Hawpe
|
|
796. |
Red Wings plan for Darren McCarty's return, will
have plenty of booze and credit cards
|
|
795. |
Referees are screwing Kobe Bryant despite his
begging, pleading and screams
|
|
794. |
Major League Baseball's 2005 draft is looking so
good the top 20 picks get their own page explaining why they are so
good
|
|
793. |
Flobots to bring Denver hip hop to the national
stage. They have a violinist
|
|
792. |
Denver zoo sets up program to save world's
frogs, especially the Lake Titicaca frog. For those that don't know
Spanish, "Lake Titicaca" means "Lake Cleveland Steamer"
|
|
791. |
New Hampshire named most livable state.
Submitter has never heard of it either
|
|
790. |
Patrick Roy suspended five games for being a
supportive father
|
|
789. |
"The Don Cherry Story" to hit Canadian
television, got the greenlight over "Neil Young's Dad's Story"
|
|
788. |
76ers overcome 11 point 4th quarter deficit,
beat Celtics
|
|
787. |
Matt Stajan will probably be the next captain of
the Maple Leafs, looks forward to going down with the ship
|
|
786. |
NBA teams finally realize there is little talent
in Europe, aside from Amsterdam's red light district
|
|
785. |
Bogut. It's Australian for "about to get
overpaid"
|
|
784. |
List of candidates to replace Isiah Thomas
includes everyone who's name is not Isiah Thomas
|
|
783. |
Japanese wish the Boston Red Sox were playing
the Boston Red Sox
|
|
782. |
Major League Lacrosse team in Denver outsells
the Nuggets and Avalanche, perhaps the hot tub seating with bikini
clad women has helped
|
|
781. |
Colorado facing $700 million budget shortfall.
May look to tax cuts and increased war spending to alleviate problem
|
|
780. |
Knicks think clearing cap space in and of itself
will lure Lebron James. Fans launch website to lure him with cash
|
|
779. |
NCAA will move back 3-point line, NBA should
think about moving it closer
|
|
778. |
Falcons won't miss 'MeAngelo', think he fits in
great with the Raiders. And his poems suck
|
|
777. |
Cincinnati has a Pro Bowl wide receiver who
believes he is underpaid and wants a new deal. No, the other one
|
|
776. |
Isiah Thomas upset that former boss is talking
to what will be his former employer
|
|
775. |
Brewers and Angels engage in battle of who can
field the least amount of major league ball players in spring training
|
|
774. |
NHL may face legal action for treating Chris
Pronger like a star after treating Chris Simon like a brown star
|
|
773. |
5,000-year-old bowl is first recorded attempt at
animation, slightly better than "Family Guy"
|
|
772. |
Native Americans can be traced to six "founding
mothers." Sluts
|
|
771. |
Secret Service agents who detained man for
telling Cheney off are changing their story. Not to hide anything, but
because Cheney is too lazy to testify
|
|
770. |
True winners of NFL free agency thus far are
teams that signed no one
|
|
769. |
NBA's West versus Least quality discrepancy:
Denver Nuggets 37-26 and out of the playoffs, Cleveland Cavaliers
37-27 and in the fourth seed
|
|
768. |
Kevin Garnett backs Paul Pierce for MVP, Paul
Pierce feels the same way
|
|
767. |
Mike Greenwell believes Jose Canseco stole his
awards and money by using steroids, throws Matt Nokes and Kevin
Seitzer under the bus for good measure
|
|
766. |
20 best young pitchers in MLB, better than the
catchers by rule
|
|
765. |
Colorado Rockies may
have too many good players coming down the pipe
|
|
764. |
Offseason speculation about Tom Coughlin's job
is a little different this year
|
|
763. |
Packers may turn to Trent Green or Mark Brunell
to shore up old-ass quarterback vacancy
|
|
762. |
Tyler Hansbrough is Sports Illustrated's men's
college basketball national player of the year. Yes, they already know
|
|
761. |
NFL calls Shanahanigans on report the Broncos
taped the Chargers practices
|
|
760. |
Players vote Pat Riley the coach they would
least like to play for, cite 'accountability' as main reason
|
|
759. |
'Ryan Smyth Hat Trick' is completed when a
hockey player scores two goals and leaves the ice on a stretcher
|
|
758. |
Fast and the Injurious: Flip Over A Cliff Drift
|
|
757. |
Colorado Rockies may finally be worth hating
|
|
756. |
Veteran Russian hockey players are leaving the
NHL for Russian league, despite Rangers ongoing willingness to overpay
|
|
755. |
Newly acquired Marian Hossa pulls his
'disappearing in the playoffs' act a little early on the Penguins
|
|
754. |
List of the five riskiest NFL free agents
somehow does not include Randy Moss
|
|
753. |
Denver Nuggets score most single game points in
a game this season, trounce Oklahoma City Sonics
|
|
752. |
Detroit Red Wings will offer a flurry of
contract extensions, including one taking Chelios thru to adult
diapers
|
|
751. |
Left for dead, Colorado Avalanche occupy playoff
spot after last second regulation goal and shootout win against the
Canucks
|
|
750. |
NFL owners are so dissatified with current labor
deal they may opt out, meaning 2011 would become a non-salary capped
year
|
|
749. |
Breakdown of five seemingly random but
interesting NHL trades since the year since 2000
|
|
748. |
Judge so angered by lawyers he overturns $51
million verdict and orders them to pay legal fees. Not enough sand
|
|
747. |
Just about every respected baseball statistician
who has publicized results reveals Derek Jeter is, at best, among the
poorest defensive shortstops in the game
|
|
746. |
'Mike Shanahan Timeout', or calling a timeout
just before opponent's field goal snap, expected to remain legal.
'Mike Shanahan Tenure', or keeping your job based on decade old
performances, to continue as well
|
|
745. |
Founder of Denver Broncos, architect of 1970's
Big Red Machine dies at 89
|
|
744. |
Wal-mart cashier tells veiled Muslim woman,
'Please don't stick me up'. It ended well
|
|
743. |
Fraternity pledges re-enact "Evil Dead" in motel
room despite the absence of hazing and baby oil
|
|
742. |
Avery Johnson has been campaigning to have Dirk
Nowitzki traded after continual playoff chokes
|
|
741. |
Advocates insist introducing wolves into
national park will help curb elk population, especially if outfitted
in sheep's clothing
|
|
740. |
Christian impersonators in Colorado Springs
warned of police impersonators in Colorado Springs. Toss up on who the
Scary tag is for
|
|
739. |
Sixteen out of sixteen LA Kings fans agree: Rob
Blake should go away
|
|
738. |
Nuggets and Knicks may trade more than punches
|
|
737. |
Weather prognosticators can't figure out why
snow keeps falling, but the usual suspects are being mentioned: Global
warming and steroids
|
|
736. |
Utah State Senator compares funding bill to a
black baby, calling it "a dark, ugly thing." Says he didn't mean to
sound racist, has a lot of black baby friends
|
|
735. |
Bats could fly before they developed radar,
unknown how they overcame walls
|
|
734. |
Knicks have some swampland in Florida they would
like to sell you
|
|
733. |
Greg Maddux will pitch at least one more year,
then may be old enough to play for the Mighty Ducks
|
|
732. |
Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton fight over whose
singing career Timbaland will resurrect. Yes, they each believe they
had a functioning singing career
|
|
731. |
NFL Pro Bowl going the way of the NHL All-Star
Game: Endangered
|
|
730. |
Peter Forsberg needs one more week before
setting a timetable on when he will decide his time frame for deciding
if he will come back. Then he will decide on the team after deciding
on the timetable for deciding on which team he will sign with
|
|
729. |
Carmelo moves his record against Lebron to 8-2.
But but but Nuggets
|
|
728. |
Crocs sued for delivering delicious toes to
alligator-like escalators
|
|
727. |
It took woman four years and $8,000 to pay off
$500 she borrowed from a payday lender, learns lesson in personal
responsibilty. Or not
|
|
726. |
Shaquille O'Neal reminded that he said Steve
Nash's MVPs were tainted: "No, I never said that. Did I? If I said
that, delete it from the files." (Second item)
|
|
725. |
Teams feel Colon is unremarkable
|
|
724. |
NBA title chances of the crowded Western
Conference: Suns are basically in the same place as before the Shaq
trade
|
|
723. |
David Beckham wants to "win something" this year
with the Galaxy. May try to be the 1,000th person thru the gate
|
|
722. |
JJ Redick won't play or be traded this season,
will suck
|
|
721. |
Teemu Selanne latest old ass player to rejoin
the Ducks
|
|
720. |
Haley Joel Osment's eight year streak of picking
Super Bowl winners has ended, says he sees chokers
|
|
719. |
Top-ranked high school running back signs with
Colorado, where his uncle is a sophomore
|
|
718. |
67.5% of Coloradoans would not vote for John
Elway if he ran for President, those who have followed George W. Bush
know why
|
|
717. |
Snowfall in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho hits record 10
feet, 7 inches. For those who don't speak french, Coeur d'Alene means
'The Niña'
|
|
716. |
Bill Belichick wasn't being a big baby when he
left the field early, he was being a confused baby
|
|
715. |
Denver Broncos won more games in a three year
span than anyone plus back to back titles, but they are from Denver
|
|
714. |
At behest of fifth graders, Colorado to name
state reptile. "Tom Tancredo" is first choice
|
|
713. |
Devean George would rather play for a loser to
increase his next contract than stay with a contender. Perhaps Latrell
Sprewell rubbed off on him
|
|
712. |
Colorado lawmaker submits, "Wouldn't this be
real nice inside of you?" as best pickup line with requisite pulling
out of junk
|
|
711. |
Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester keeps surviving
things that rhyme with 'umor'
|
|
710. |
Large crowd gathering in Denver for a shot at
Obama speech
|
|
709. |
Red Wings throw Darren McCarty sympathy bone
|
|
708. |
Olli Jokinen questioned about possible drug ring
ties, and not because he wants to stay with the Panthers
|
|
707. |
Damon Stoudamire will give the Spurs the old 'I
just got bought out so I'll piggyback on the team that's going to win
the finals' discount
|
|
706. |
Jason Kidd is going back to Dallas, Dallas,
Dallas, Jason Kidd is going back to Dallas, Dallas, Dallas. For Josh
Howard? I don't think so
|
|
705. |
Colorado Rockies to sign Scott Podsednick two
years too late
|
|
704. |
NY Giants can look to the 1997 Denver Broncos
for inspiration, EAS supplements
|
|
703. |
It isn't fair to ask the NHL All-Star Game to
compete with the Poultry Expo, they are completely different levels of
entertainment
|
|
702. |
Ben Roethlisberger wants a tall receiver, Hines
Ward feels insecure and lashes out. And these are the offseasons of
our lives
|
|
701. |
L.A. Kings may hold fire sale that will not
endanger any mansions
|
|
700. |
The nugget didn't fall far from the trunk:
George Karl to become third NBA coach to face his son in a game
|
|
699. |
Colorado Rockies will give Troy Tulowitzki the
largest contract ever given to a player with less than 2 years
experience and 15 World Series strikeouts
|
|
698. |
Andy Pettitte never liked Roger Clemens anyway
|
|
697. |
Jose Theodore appears close to regaining his
pre-Paris Hilton 5-hole days
|
|
696. |
Rockies set up two-year deal that will allow
them to trade Matt Holliday without having to swallow his contract
|
|
695. |
Linas Kleiza dumps 41 points on the Utah Jazz
before returning to janitorial duties
|
|
694. |
Nevadans feel a certain level of harassment when
outsiders mispronounce the state's name, irregardless of whether it's
on purpose or not
|
|
693. |
Lebron James doesn't really think getting caught
doing 101 mph is a big deal. Besides, he enjoys racing David Wesley
|
|
692. |
Maple Leafs may turn to former Phoenix Coyotes
exec to turn things around. That sounds about right
|
|
691. |
See this juice box? You can put your weed in it
|
|
690. |
La Niña to help drought conditions in Idaho. For
those of you who do not speak Spanish, "La Niña" means "The Niña"
|
|
689. |
Dany Heatley to be sidelined 6 weeks after
on-ice crash. The distinction is important
|
|
688. |
Tumor removed from Nene, unclear if it was
nugget-related
|
|
687. |
CU mascot dressed up as gangbanger, mistake
resulted in invitation to football recruiting party
|
|
686. |
Peter Forsberg update: There is an update
|
|
685. |
Alonzo Mourning is not retired, no matter what
his interview on the Heat's website that was pulled says
|
|
684. |
Shoshone indians want possession of ancestor's
graveyard, will suck people through televisions if necessary
|
|
683. |
Slowing down to stare at traffic accidents can
really irritate other drivers you hold up and the police officers you
run over
|
|
682. |
Blackhawks coach Denis Savard 'knows' they will
be winning a Stanley Cup
|
|
681. |
Red Sox to re-sign Doug Mirabelli to catch Tim
Wakefield's knucklers, but he isn't making out hand over fist
|
|
680. |
After going 13-3 with the No. 1 NFC seed, Wade
Phillips finds himself explaining why he should keep his job. Bum deal
|
|
679. |
FBI has found that World Series ticketing
system, like the Rockies, suffered from no offense
|
|
678. |
Teemu Selanne hasn't retired because he might
piggyback the Ducks to another Cup
|
|
677. |
James Dobson is happy with Huckabee's win, which
should tell you all you need to know
|
|
676. |
Curt Schilling may want to offer a reason why he
was 52-52 at age 30, only to go 164-94 in the next decade. Teammates
Dykstra and Incaviglia from the Mitchell Report may know (About
halfway down the page)
|
|
675. |
Avalanche's Ryan Smyth out for eight weeks with
fractured Forsberg
|
|
674. |
Liam Gallagher to front "supergroup," perhaps
one bigger than the Beatles
|
|
673. |
Today's "Nobody likes the Patriots" article
|
|
672. |
Final NFL power rankings, like anything past No.
2 matters
|
|
671. |
Only thing that is certain in Chargers-Titans
re-match is LaDainian Tomlinson's feelings will get hurt
|
| |
|
|
2007 |
| |
|
|
670. |
Daniel Radcliffe will portray stoned war
photographer
|
|
669. |
Atlanta Falcons will try to fit Michael Vick in
between rounds of golf
|
|
668. |
Ozzy Osbourne struggles to write autobiography.
A for effort, though
|
|
667. |
Baseball Hall Of Fame might want to check out a
few overlooked guys who didn't take steroids
|
|
666. |
US Airways recalls some laid-off flight
attendants. Man, were they hot
|
|
665. |
Donovan McNabb may have a place in Minnesota if
Tavaris Jackson doesn't suddenly become consistent in the last
regular-season game
|
|
664. |
Ricky Gervais wants to be the next 007, is good
at tongue-in-cheek
|
|
663. |
Red Sox are only in the Johan Santana derby to
mess with the Yankees
|
|
662. |
Former NHL player Igor Larionov and powerful
backers are trying to put together a European hockey league to rival
the NHL, could steal many of the game's young talent that you've never
heard of
|
|
661. |
Bill Belichick likely won't rest any Patriots
starters, doesn't think Tom Brady is any more important than Matt
Cassel
|
|
660. |
NBA power ranking show the only way Celtics can
be #1 is if San Antonio has health issues
|
|
659. |
J.K. Rowling may write an eighth 'Harry Potter'
book, mentions what the characters are doing in their adult lives
|
|
658. |
Morten Andersen will still be kicking in the NFL
long after you are dead
|
|
657. |
Tom Osborne to remain athletic director for the
big dead machine until 2010
|
|
656. |
Denzel Washington donates $1 million to Wiley
College, is sooo well spoken
|
|
655. |
Champ Bailey knows what it's like to be the only
gay eskimo
|
|
654. |
Todd Bertuzzi ended Steve Moore's career because
he was afraid coach Marc Crawford would be mean to him
|
|
653. |
Mikki Moore calls out Sacramento Kings coaches
for something, no one is really sure why or who he is
|
|
652. |
What's five percent of $300 million? Scott
Boras' severance pay
|
|
651. |
Donovan McNabb will be back for another tour
with the Eagles so long as Joe Walsh keeps his mouth shut
|
|
650. |
Christina Ricci tried anorexia, but found it did
not decrease the size of her forehead
|
|
649. |
Tara Reid rushed to hospital after she fell.
Bolts keeping abdomen in place were not harmed
|
|
648. |
Indiana Pacers motivated by guarantee that Eddy
Curry didn't make
|
|
647. |
NBA power rankings
show the Celtics are No. 1 in the East
|
|
646. |
Having congratulated all other teams that
actually won something, Congress passes resolution honoring the
Colorado Rockies
|
|
645. |
Celtics on nine-game winning streak despite Ray
Allen's usual physical breakdown
|
|
644. |
Atlanta Falcons offer Bill Cowher their head
coaching job, Bill Cowher gives them the dirty bird
|
|
643. |
Chicago Bears Lance Briggs is doing the child
support shuffle
|
|
642. |
Jessica Simpson is contagious and spreading;
Mischa Barton wants to get naked in movies
|
|
641. |
Opening clamshell packaging without injury can
involve heavy duty scissors, which often come packed in clamshell
packaging
|
|
640. |
Bill Cowher has made it clear that he will not
coach in 2008 *wink wink*
|
|
639. |
EBay will end high shipping rates from tricky
sellers
|
|
638. |
Four anonymous NHL players are testing skates
with heated blades. Reason for secrecy unknown since all NHL players
are anonymous
|
|
637. |
Michael Jordan does not have to pay woman $5
million for not talking about a baby that wasn't his
|
|
636. |
Kiefer Sutherland getting 100 letters a day in
jail, but some are meant for Richard Dean Anderson
|
|
635. |
Tyra Banks thinks Britney Spears should kill
herself, Janice Dickinson thinks Tyra Banks is fat, Britney Spears
thinks Janice Dickinson writes good poems
|
|
634. |
Pittsburgh Steelers guarantee Aaron Smith is out
for the year
|
|
633. |
Cubs are 50-50 on offering Mark Prior a
contract, the same odds as him being on the field
|
|
632. |
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes take Suri to see the
Spice Girls twice in three days. Authorities investigating abuse
claims
|
|
631. |
It is unknown what burglars took from Charlize
Theron's home, or when it will be released to the Internet
|
|
630. |
Jessica Simpson believes the only way she will
be taken seriously as an actress is to do a full-frontal nude scene
|
|
629. |
Yankees may trade Hideki Matsui for some players
that will help them keep a stranglehold on second place
|
|
628. |
Courtney Cox wants a "Friends" reunion. "Masters
of the Universe" reunion more likely
|
|
627. |
Jessica Biel voted "cleanest" female celebrity
by people who have not run a culture on Justin Timberlake's penis
|
|
626. |
Utah Jazz continue string of allowing an
opponent to score at will and go to the hole
|
|
625. |
Breathing Utah's air is like smoking five
cigarettes a day. Worse, as with all things in Utah, there is no buzz
|
|
624. |
Rockies reliever to sign with Yankees, will
bring fresh new perspective on how to lose to the Red Sox
|
|
623. |
Kenyon Martin appears to be a bona fide NBA
player with knees and everything
|
|
622. |
Peter Forsberg update: There is no update
|
|
621. |
San Diego Chargers are still confused about what
constitutes "class" on the football field
|
|
620. |
Lindsay Lohan attempts to sell pictures of her
family's Thanksgiving without showing any thighs or breasts
|
|
619. |
Travis Henry may be the first player to beat an
NFL marijuana suspension
|
|
618. |
Having a MySpace page celebrating pot and gangs
doesn't seem as cool after your 10-year-old daughter is killed in a
pot and gang related shooting
|
|
617. |
Denver Broncos help the Washington Redskins cope
with their loss, knowing a lot about it on and off the field
|
|
616. |
Reggie Miller takes last second shot against
Knicks before calling their game tomorrow. Swish
|
|
615. |
Phil Jackson rumored to coach the Knicks, an
unlikely move since they are not already built to win a title
|
|
614. |
Documents from Black Sox scandal re-discovered,
fuel fears of another Kevin Costner movie
|
|
613. |
Yankees look to add Johan Santana from Twins,
hope they aren't overpaying for another boob
|
|
612. |
Allen Iverson wins NBA player of the week for
the 21st time. But but but Nuggets
|
|
611. |
How Barry Bonds grew into such a giant asshole,
a pictorial
|
|
610. |
Judge agrees to hear argument that Church is a
business. This should end well
|
|
609. |
Class action lawsuit against Crocs launched
because the company acts like their shoes don't stink
|
|
608. |
Performer falls during Cirque du Soleil
performance. Oh, the Zumanity
|
|
607. |
Dwayne Wade calls Shaq out for being lazy. Shaq
confused, isn't used to having calls against him
|
|
606. |
Members of Knicks organization believe Isiah
Thomas wants to be fired, but he can't even do that right
|
|
605. |
American fighter plane from WWII re-emerges from
sand in Wales, promptly humps a sheep
|
|
604. |
Vince Young was overrated just a tad, but that
wasn't his fault
|
|
603. |
Cable companies show sack to NFL in refusing to
carry NFL network
|
|
602. |
It's so cute that the Miami Dolphins are
pretending it matters what QB starts
|
|
601. |
After Travis Henry's hair follicle and lie
detector tests showed he was clean, Mike Shanahan decided to support
him. It's a nice gesture since Travis Henry is used to supporting so
many others
|
|
600. |
Celtics are #1 in power rankings, are enjoying
their honeymoon phase
|
|
599. |
Wikipedia founder urges people to think of the
good things about Internet collaboration and research. He also blows
goats
|
|
598. |
Paul Stastny reached 100 NHL points in his 99th
career game, which is fourth best in his family
|
|
597. |
"Roe vs. Wade For Men" terminated
|
|
596. |
Cleveland's Mark Shapiro win's MLB's Executive
of the Year. Rockies come in second again, look forward to second
place in MVP and ROY
|
|
595. |
Micron CEO turns down bonus due to bad year,
will somehow make it on the $8 million in compensation he was already
paid
|
|
594. |
Jay Cutler does not join the long list of Denver
Broncos who are out for the season, otherwise known as the lucky ones
|
|
593. |
Snoop Dogg and David Beckham plan to make movie
together titled, "Box Office Poison"
|
|
592. |
Frontier Airlines doesn't fly to Boston because
the Red Sox beat the Rockies or something
|
|
591. |
Scalper sues Colorado Rockies when online World
Series ticket order is cancelled, Rockies actually settle
|
|
590. |
Colorado Rockies owner already predicting World
Series win in 2008
|
|
589. |
FBI opens investigation into 'attack' on Rockies
ticket system, apparently not just for laughs
|
|
588. |
Bad: Woman stabs man. Good: woman then takes him
to hospital. Bad: where she proceeds to rob him (This
wasn't the headline, can't remember what I had originally)
|
|
587. |
Bulls attempt to give up nothing in return for
Kobe Bryant, are shown the back door
|
|
586. |
Peter Forsberg's top two choices are the
Avalanche and the Senators, doesn't care how many Swedes the Red Wings
have
|
|
585. |
Allen Iverson injured in practice. Practice
|
|
584. |
Colorado Rockies have now won 21 of 23 games,
are among hottest postseason teams ever
|
|
583. |
Muslim punk band denigrates muslim author at
behest of different muslim writer. That's right. Muslim punk band
|
|
582. |
Since World Series tickets went on sale in
Denver at 10am MT, TheDenverChannel has not heard from a single fan
who was able to buy World Series tickets Monday morning
|
|
581. |
Jeff Francis beats Sports Illustrated-cover
jinx, defeats Dbacks in Game 1
|
|
580. |
Man gets Green Bay Packers season tickets after
37 years on waiting list
|
|
579. |
Colorado Republicans line up to give cash to
out-of-touch north-easterner who doesn't understand western values and
issues
|
|
578. |
Red Wings fans are waiting for somebody, anybody
else to fill up their arena. Hockeytown, indeed
|
|
577. |
If A-Rod opts out, the Yankees will refuse to
sign him. wink wink
|
|
576. |
Arizona Diamondbacks waiting for Rockies fans to
fill their stadium
|
|
575. |
Paul Stastny gets the top star for the first
week of NHL play with 4 goals, 4 assists. Malkin, who?
|
|
574. |
Red Sox-Yankees it ain't, but the Rockies and
Diamondbacks could have their own little cute rivalry
|
|
573. |
Yankees want A-Rod back
|
|
572. |
Kevin Garnett doesn't even really remember
what's-their-names
|
|
571. |
Colorado Rockies vote playoff share money to
family of first base coach that died from line drive
|
|
570. |
Rockies have their cheese steak and eat it too
|
|
569. |
Pot group rents billboard to lure Ricky Williams
to Denver. Pot group should use pot to lure Ricky Williams to Denver
|
|
568. |
Colorado Rockies vs. San Diego Padres wild card
playoff discussion thread. Lets get it on. Not like Jeter and A-Rod,
but still
|
|
567. |
Boulder students learning first hand that that
protestors are viewed as douchebags regardless of the issue
|
|
566. |
Man volunteers at daycare and molests child. By
"daycare" we mean "animal shelter," and by "child" we mean "dog"
|
|
565. |
Jack In The Box returning to Colorado after 11
year e-coli timeout. Submitter will never take you for granted again,
sweet, sweet Breakfast jack
|
|
564. |
Councilwoman sues city, accidentally reveals
illegal loan in deposition, reveals her credentials for politics are
valid
|
|
563. |
Fugitive who murdered man over homosexual
advances caught after 32 years. Where he is going, 'advances' will be
a euphemism
|
|
562. |
Comprehensive look at MLB's postseason races,
starts off with the two teams the Rockies killed
|
|
561. |
Colorado State Republicans to rally because
"F*ck Bush" is profane, not because it's wrong
|
|
560. |
Rockies trim wild-card deficit to 1.5 games by
pounding Padres. Could be described as "magical" if magic wasn't evil
|
|
559. |
Rockies sweep Dodgers four straight, have only a
couple weeks left to celebrate meaningless wins
|
|
558. |
Matt Holliday has 10 homers in last 11 games,
powers Rockies to third straight over Dodgers. MVP MVP MVP
|
|
557. |
Todd Helton seals doubleheader sweep with
walk-off home run at Coors Canaveral
|
|
556. |
NHL to scrap schedule where the emphasis is on
divisional games, hopefully will be gunning for the shootout next
|
|
555. |
Eric Gagne hit Mariano Rivera with an errant
bullpen pitch. He's either that bad or that good
|
|
554. |
They Might Be Giants haven't been much like They
Might Be Giants, but are reverting to their They Might Be Giants form
|
|
553. |
Avs rookie used to like the Red Wings, came to
his senses
|
|
552. |
Despite Indian reservations, seller of sacred
meteorite expected to net $1 million
|
|
551. |
In-flight turbulence may become thing of the
past, like on-time departures and leg room
|
|
550. |
Family who found condom in soup can tasted extra
noodle, will play game of chicken with Campbell's
|
|
549. |
Rockies to play Phillies with playoff
implications for both teams. Monkeys expected to fly out of all their
butts
|
|
548. |
Todd Helton becomes only player in MLB history
to hit at least 35 doubles 10 straight years
|
|
547. |
Denver Broncos running attack is reborn as
Travis Henry inserted himself into every hole he saw
|
|
546. |
Seattle beats Detroit 14-7. No, the other sport
|
|
545. |
Colorado Rockies use record ten pitchers in nine
innings, pound Padres
|
|
544. |
Position by position MLB All-Star Team based on
hot spouses/girlfriends. Sorry A-Rod, Jeter doesn't count
|
|
543. |
Kelsey Grammer vows to speak at the parole
hearing of the beast that killed his sister
|
|
542. |
Rockies rally against Giants with a "never say
die" attitude, the kind that can only come with a belief in
everlasting life and salvation
|
|
541. |
Come out to California, have a few drinks, get
gored by a bison, we'll have a few laughs
|
|
540. |
Boy suspended for toy gun accidently left in
backpack. He said it was unloaded, but if it was from China it was
probably full of lead anyway
|
|
539. |
Carmelo Anthony has become the most dangerous
scorer on the planet
|
|
538. |
NHL goal judges relocated to where it will be
hard to judge goals
|
|
537. |
Mexican basketball team snuck into the second
round game against the U.S., did the dirty work to stay close,
ultimately fell unrewarded
|
|
536. |
Broncos running back Travis Henry has fathered a
baseball team, never strikes out
|
|
535. |
It's so cute how the Colorado Rockies think they
still have a shot at the postseason
|
|
534. |
The Cure postpones fall tour *sob*
|
|
533. |
People involved in coastal Australian
developments need to be more aware of disturbing underwater artifacts
that have not been found and may not exist
|
|
532. |
Remains of last Russian tsar's children believed
found, although some believe these findings are Bolshevik
|
|
531. |
Denver Catholic archdiocese decides that
pilgrims can't have sects inside church
|
|
530. |
Purchasing Ecstasy ingredients on Ebay using
your PayPal account and email address "freebasing@hotmail.com" may
make the case against you stronger
|
|
529. |
Peyton Manning thinks ex-players who join the
media are sell-outs, ranking just above idiot kickers
|
|
528. |
Priest Holmes is making Chiefs' training camp
uncomfortable, complaining of lack of handicapped parking
|
|
527. |
Famous phone hacker "Joybubbles" dies, he
whistled while he worked
|
|
526. |
Colorado soccer fans care enough about MLS team
to know the coach by name and want him fired
|
|
525. |
Will the last healthy starting Rockies pitcher
please choke out the lights
|
|
524. |
The Federal Trade Commission made trade secrets
public in attempt to block merger
|
|
523. |
Colorado Rockies "ace" shelled in important
showdown with Padres. To be fair, he's really a three in anyone else's
rotation
|
|
522. |
Kirk Hinrich leaves Team USA to spend more time
not representing his country
|
|
521. |
Colorado school district equates "Saving Private
Ryan" and "Schindler's List" with "Basic Instinct" and "Road House"
|
|
520. |
Goofy game between Rockies and Brewers includes
a pitcher possibly getting picked off on purpose
|
|
519. |
Frontier CEO routinely helps out gate agents and
baggage handlers, has animals tattooed on his ass
|
|
518. |
Peter Forsberg is skating again, Detroit Red
Wings think he'd fit well in their training room
|
|
517. |
Despite being the Colorado Rockies, the Colorado
Rockies aren't dead yet
|
|
516. |
Since Telluride, Colorado voted to impeach Bush,
Texas and Florida Republicans have threatened to stay away. So it's a
win-win for everyone involved
|
|
515. |
Todd Rundgren performs "Hello, It's Me" as a
bird
|
|
514. |
Ron Artest urges kids to keep their grades up,
stay out of trouble, don't give up million-dollar job for rap career,
stay away from domestic violence, decline beating patrons at place of
work, work at Circuit city, scowl frequently
|
|
513. |
Ryan Smyth makes sure trade to Islanders was a
rental, signs with Colorado Avalanche
|
|
512. |
AAA changes press release to include term
'midweek' holiday
|
|
511. |
Group with petition asks Denver cops to quit
busting people with dope since it's legal and all
|
|
510. |
Britney Spears misses the stability of married
life with K-fed
|
|
509. |
80% of immigrants try to learn English, which is
about the same percentage as U.S. high school students
|
|
508. |
Lawsuit filed after cop is fired for being in
the worst marriage ever
|
|
507. |
Having fixed all other health care issues,
congress may get involved if NFL pension system isn't fixed
|
|
506. |
Nobody knows who Matt Holliday is, and nobody
will... until he gets out of Triple A
|
|
505. |
Sweden rules inmates have a right to their porn.
Børk Børk Børk
|
|
504. |
Boston Celtics kill four team deal involving
Kevin Garnett just because they didn't like what they would get -
which is totally out of character for them
|
|
503. |
Avril Lavigne looks at the stunning sucess of
Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, Kelly Clarkson and Jennifer Lopez and
decides she wants her own acting career
|
|
502. |
Claude Julien becomes third Boston Bruins coach
this year, already demands execution
|
|
501. |
After all the hubbub over strippers, rapes and
recruitment, the only thing Colorado University gets busted for is
meal discounts
|
|
500. |
Photoshop this woman whose God wants rocks
|
|
499. |
David Lee Roth created sex procurement system
with Henry Ford's assembly line efficiency
|
|
498. |
NFL to create whistle-blower system for
reporting concussions, Bengals
|
|
497. |
Todd Helton would play for the Yankees, who can
scout him knocking their pitchers all over the yard the next few days
|
|
496. |
Kobe Bryant performs backdoor cut on management
and teammates in video
|
|
495. |
Robber with plastic bag on head fails to get
money, believed to have driven off in car with hose going from the
exhaust to his window
|
|
494. |
Nicole Richie is attracted to "homeless" looking
men, where the threat of eating is minimal
|
|
493. |
Courtney Love having
'mini-war' with cigarettes, losing full blown war with gravity
|
|
492. |
San Antonio Spurs able to make it thru
championship parade without any whining
|
|
491. |
Thank you for hiking Colorado, here's a $5,000
bill for your rescue. Yes, it's high, but it was on overtime
|
|
490. |
Colorado Rockies decide that Yankees fans are
going to pay extra to see their underachieving team, which is pretty
much par for the course in Colorado anyway
|
|
489. |
Josh Beckett takes first loss as Rockies pound
the Red Sox for second game in a row. Also, the Yankees have won nine
in a row. Just saying
|
|
488. |
Major League Baseball deadline deals to get you
juiced up
|
|
487. |
Sam Adams and his fat tire close to signing with
Denver Broncos
|
|
486. |
Plenty of women at the Indy 500 ensures all
headlight fluid will be checked and full
|
|
485. |
Yankees looking to major league farm team Denver
Expos for help
|
|
484. |
32 projected NFL starting quarterbacks ranked,
Brett Favre ain't living on past glories any more
|
|
483. |
Atlanta Braves sold for some blankets and beads
|
|
482. |
High school math teacher finds Whizzinator
operation tougher than the Riemann Hypothesis
|
|
481. |
Denying racism by saying you've had a "colored
boy" in your home may come off as being disingenuous
|
|
480. |
Teemu Selanne's second straight 40 goal season
makes him NHL's best old-ass bargain
|
|
479. |
Team USA extends invitation to Marcus Camby to
cover Lebron James' defensive lapses
|
|
478. |
Colorado Rapids take over first place in Western
Conference, fans reduced to trying to give a shiat about soccer until
Broncos training camp
|
|
477. |
"Survivor" winner gets first ever shutout as
latest jury still can't reconcile "outwit" with "lie"
|
|
476. |
Unlike other presidential candidate's children,
Chelsea Clinton has remained out of the spotlight and hidden far away
|
|
475. |
Cult leader Yahweh Ben Yahweh dies the lamest
cult leader death ever
|
|
474. |
When you are haggling over Trent Green, you have
already lost
|
|
473. |
4 out of 5 scholars agree; Wikipedia is
accurate, informative and comprehensive
|
|
472. |
Hot, innocent and supple teens face increased sexual harassment in the
workplace (Headline changed)
|
|
471. |
Marcus Camby wins NBA Defensive Player Of The Year, taught Carmelo the
"backpedal from fight" maneuver
|
|
470. |
'Look
who's smoking and flipping off the camera while naked, too' pictures
approved by authorities
|
|
469. |
Allen Iverson is the Denver Nuggets hand, and their hand is on the
trigger
|
|
468. |
San Antonio Spurs, the team who worries so much about their hair and
makeup, forgot about the Denver Nuggets
|
|
467. |
Flights on B-17 bomber open to the public in target rich Colorado
|
|
466. |
Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson are unable to play together on their
way to winning their seventh game in a row and clinching a playoff
birth
|
|
465. |
Jay Cutler's last job before being the Denver Broncos' quarterback was
trashman, which is why people thought he would end up in Oakland
|
|
464. |
Denver Nuggets win sixth in a row against Lakers and Kobe Bryant, who
shot 9-of-30. MVP MVP MVP
|
|
463. |
NFL's best first-round picks at each slot. In the No. 1 slot, John
Elway beats out a certain Indianapolis Colt not named Steve Emtman
|
|
462. |
NHL playoff power rankings. Red Wings suffer due to poor power play
|
|
461. |
Joe Sakic, 38, resigns with Colorado Avalanche after 100-point season
|
|
460. |
Colorado Avalanche are the first team to surpass 93 points and miss
the playoffs, finish season on a 15-2-2 run
|
|
459. |
Teams are unwilling to give a boatload for top 10 NFL draft picks
because of Eli Manning
|
|
458. |
Nuggets end Mavericks dream of tying season wins record, will have to
settle for a playoff choke
|
|
457. |
David Carr agrees to end his career with the Carolina Panthers
|
|
456. |
Peter Forsberg to play first game in Colorado as an opponent, plans on
seeing all his old doctors
|
|
455. |
Colorado Avalanche's late season 14-1-2 run will mean nothing when the
Edmonton Giver-Uppers play Calgary
|
|
454. |
In Colorado, contract extensions given to your manager and GM after
five losing seasons is called "stability"
|
|
453. |
Pot distributes 350,000 anti-Kettle DVDs in Utah, hoping to convince
them their religion is a cult
|
|
452. |
Seattle Supersonics come back from 25-point deficit to beat Minnesota
Timberwolves
|
|
451. |
Nation's oldest CEO turns 106; is unsure Social Security will be
around when he retires
|
|
450. |
Air Force and Wisconsin showdown in the NCAA hockey tournament
features two all-American teams
|
|
449. |
The legend and back story of Leeroy Jenkins, an article not into the
whole brevity thing
|
|
448. |
NBA players receive a $106 per diem while on road trips to spend as
they wish on food, reading materials, strippers and crack
|
|
447. |
Barack Obama wows Denver crowd, is asked what team he plays for
|
|
446. |
Andrew Bogut apologizes for gesturing to the home crowd that they're
No. 1
|
|
445. |
George Karl challenges the Nuggets to hold the Blazers to 30 percent
shooting in the second half. They held them to 60 percent
|
|
444. |
Paul Stastny breaks NHL rookie points streak mark, his old man has the
third longest
|
|
443. |
After starting the season 17-1, Air Force may not make the tourney
|
|
442. |
Insane Clown Posse fans forming gangs and committing murders. Where is
the clown outrage?
|
|
441. |
Three years after on ice attack, Steve Moore still hasn't been cleared
to play by doctors. He should probably just get over it, the big faker
|
|
440. |
Undercover drug informant surprised to see name listed under sheriff's
expenses in newspaper
|
|
439. |
Colorado bill would allow same-sex couples to adopt partner's
children. Opponents say it would open door for trees, chairs, and
mollusks to adopt children
|
|
438. |
The "Indiana Jones of Beer" has died
|
|
437. |
People do not remember commercials from sexy shows. Trend first
noticed during "The Golden Girls" run
|
|
436. |
Day of reckoning for cheapos who refuse to pay for cable but watch TV
is coming in two years. All four of you have been warned
|
|
435. |
Most memorable sports injury cover-ups, does not include Kobe's wife
kicking his nuts
|
|
434. |
Elizabeth Hurley's four-year-old son is her bodyguard. How cute
|
|
433. |
While John Travolta covers his dome with a rug, Bruce Willis bares his
with pride and threatens to beat up anyone who makes fun of it
|
|
432. |
Utah Jazz whine about Kobe's star treatment, pine for the days when
Stockton and Malone took 35 free throws a game
|
|
431. |
Billy Joel's new song is the creepiest of the year
|
|
430. |
When panhandling at intersections becomes criminal, only criminals
will panhandle. And firefighters
|
|
429. |
Actress makes documentary praising Woody Allen after he fires her and
calls her 'retarded'. That guy is good
|
|
428. |
Jeff Garcia morphs into ambulance chaser, believes the Bears could use
a semi-conscious quarterback like himself
|
|
427. |
NBA teams have finally realized that there is only one Michael Jordan,
have started searching for the next Scottie Pippen
|
|
426. |
Girl plays on the top line of her high
school hockey team, scores often and rarely gets stuck in the box
|
|
425. |
Todd Bertuzzi may be traded again, could be a big hit for a team
trying sneak up from behind contenders
|
|
424. |
Who amongst us hasn't impersonated a cop in our plateless Nissan that
contains drug paraphernalia?
|
|
423. |
Get Carmelo Anthony on the court and he's trouble, last night messed
around and got a triple double. He'd rather have the win
|
|
422. |
Being thin for "Dreamgirls" was awful for Beyonce, couldn't wait to
rejoin Team Winslet
|
|
421. |
American Idol power rankings led by ugly guys
|
|
420. |
Can the Phoenix Suns win an NBA title, and can the guy who wrote the
article get a better head shot?
|
|
419. |
Justin Timberlake likes Jessica Biel, does not like like her
|
|
418. |
President Bush and Julia Roberts wondering where they will get their
next round of fried cow balls
|
|
417. |
Roman legion re-enactors descend upon Alabama, spectators anxious to
see their phalanx
|
|
416. |
Jack Bauer doll's clothes don't burn, but figure does. Kiefer tested,
Kiefer approved
|
|
415. |
Sixteenth Winter Deaflympics hits Salt Lake City. I said, 16TH WINTER
DEAFLYMPICS HITS SALT LAKE CITY
|
|
414. |
Denver is paying $1 million a week in snow removal costs. Aspen is
paying $15 million a week bringing snow in
|
|
413. |
Couple collecting $10,000 powerball winnings buy more tickets, win $15
million
|
|
412. |
Bob Marley's sons to hold birthday concert while pushing non-hardcore
peace
|
|
411. |
Colorado Rockies pull Todd Helton off the table, Boston pulls pud and
Helton pulls a hammy
|
|
410. |
Chicago Bears arrive in Miami, still deciding who will get caught with
the hooker
|
|
409. |
Todd Helton is a tough-ass out, therefore may not fit in with the Red
Sox
|
|
408. |
Twenty all-time dumbest questions asked at the Super Bowl media day.
Why Parcells is called "The Big Tuna" omitted
|
|
407. |
If Kevin Durant can Carmelo-ize the Longhorns to a title, he may win
college basketball's Player Of The Year
|
|
406. |
Beyonce and Shakira to duet on a song that is not about shaking their
asses
|
|
405. |
Utah's only openly gay senator calls his anti-anti-sodomy law
conservative, conservative lawmakers to give stiff opposition
|
|
404. |
County officials almost come to blows over who is the biggest liar
|
|
403. |
Carmelo Anthony throws a punch, gets a 15-game suspension. Kevin
Garnett throws a punch, gets a one-game suspension. Hmmmmm
|
|
402. |
After being only scheduled for one fall, Don Zimmer enters his 59th
year in baseball. Looks forward to a rematch with Martinez
|
|
401. |
Bill Walton would be confused if Carmelo Anthony got a standing
ovation on his return. A bong hit? Sure, but not a 'standing O'
|
|
400.. |
After filing NFL draft paperwork, Hawaii QB Colt Brennan decides to
return to school and throw a hundredy-billion TD passes
|
|
399. |
Martin Brodeur could break wins record for goaltenders in 2008/9
season, Patrick Roy is rooting for him to do so
|
|
398. |
Implanting chips in humans may become illegal, taking away another
component of your basic high school orgy
|
|
397. |
Orlando Bloom turned 30, secret ring tattoo starting to look oval
|
|
396. |
Houston is betting $5.35 million that Brad Lidge grabs sack
|
|
395. |
Carmelo Anthony named USA Basketball male athlete of the year
|
|
394. |
John Elway declines to run for Colorado senate seat, those of us who
went to college where training camp was held know why
|
|
393. |
Pop culture themed hotel has a 'chick flick' floor where your woman
can cheat but get her man in the end
|
|
392. |
Colorado Rockies will host "Faith Day" during
home game next season, and by
"faith" they mean "Christian," and by "game" they mean "loss"
|
|
391. |
Chris Webber agrees to sign with Pistons for the
remainder of the season, or
until his leg falls off. Either one
|
|
390. |
You wouldn't think Minneapolis would need a 'no
sex with fellow firefighters'
rule, but you'd be wrong
|
|
389. |
Steve Blake guns down former team, credits Allen
Iverson for making him better at it
|
|
388. |
Two Denver Nuggets seek concealed handgun
permits, will level the playing field
|
|
387. |
Woman remembers over 20 years of Democratic
National Conventions, including shooting water pistols at Bill Clinton
in 1988 when he wouldn't shut up
|
|
386. |
Ray Allen becomes third shooting guard to hit
Utah Jazz for 50 points this
season
|
|
385. |
If Roe Vs. Wade is struck down, Utah Republican
has bill banning most procedures ready to take it's place
|
|
384. |
Dante's face wasn't even supposed to be
reconstructed from his skull that day
|
|
383. |
Nick Lachey not ready to marry his future
ex-wife, needs to evaluate her earning potential further
|
|
382. |
David Arquette blaims Angelina Jolie for
Pitt-Aniston breakup, crawls back under Courtney Cox's shadow
|
|
381. |
Utah Jazz still hurting after being literally
biatch slapped by the Mavericks
|
|
380. |
Photo gallery of the comet McNaught currently
passing by, sure to knock your
Nikes off
|
|
379. |
Minnesota Wild's Wes Walz tricked by former
teammate Andrew Brunette into
sending him the puck by shouting his pet name
|
|
378. |
Anthropologist believes that skin is the most
underappreciated of our organs.
Submitter disagrees on a personal level
|
|
377. |
Story involving teenage cheerleaders, phallus
candles, condoms and pictures
sounds promising, but is ultimately unsatisfying
|
|
376. |
Gary Glitter may be released early, will seek an
immediate release
|
|
375. |
Air Force basketball wins 12th game in a row
after rallying from 20-point
deficit
|
|
374. |
Bill O'Reilly and Stephen Colbert will appear on
each other's shows in a battle
of smuginess
|
|
373. |
Peter Forsberg continues to get injured in a
number of ways but still can't find
a frackin' boot for his glass ankle
|
|
372. |
Professional athletes encounter violence in New
York, Atlanta, Denver and
wherever Charles Barkley is
|
|
371. |
BCS Championship games ranked in order from
"someone got screwed" to "the right team won"
|
|
370. |
Former Utah Jazz center Mark Eaton will lead
small business seminar titled,
'Fire: BAD'
|
|
369. |
Top 10 NHL lessons learned in 2006 does not
mention anything about rigging
all-star votes for losers
|
|
368. |
All Joe team for grunts of the NFL does not
include Panthers' cheerleaders
|
|
367. |
SUV used in Darrent Williams murder found with
bad paint job
|
|
366. |
50 Cent answers five questions, including what
makes him sooo sassy
|
|
365. |
Death, taxes, one Peter Forsberg injury per
game; These are the things you can
count on
|
|
364. |
Family took in 44 people stranded by blizzard,
looted grocery truck, lit plenty
of matches
|
|
363. |
Will Ferrell's wife has given birth to a hairy,
overexposed child
|
|
362. |
Like audiences, comedy writers hate "Studio 60"
|
|
361. |
Jeff Daniels is a skilled singer, songwriter and
musician. Also believes that
John Denver is full of shiat
|
|
360. |
List of CDs to be released in 2007 leaves all 15
radio enthusiasts excited
|
|
359. |
Allen Iverson is ready to be involved in another
Philadelphia 76'ers loss
|
| |
|
|
2006 |
| |
|
|
358. |
It's possible the Denver Broncos will not have a
1,000 yard back this year, may
need to stockpile 6th round picks for next draft
|
|
357. |
San Francisco 49'ers runnning back Frank Gore
depending on Moran to help break Garrison Hearst's team rushing record
|
|
356. |
Knicks win third overtime game in ten days, have
briefly forgotten Stephon
Marbury is on the team
|
|
355. |
Bobby Knight going for win 880 tonight, would
make him winningest Div 1
basketball coach. Plans to finish the game turned around so everyone
can kiss his ass
|
|
354. |
Allen Iverson's arrival in the Western
Conference will mean someone not as good as him won't make the
all-star team
|
|
353. |
Blocking brain chemical could curb alcoholism,
two-baggers
|
|
352. |
Terrell Owens visited Eagles hotel before game,
seems positive about Jeff
Garcia's sexual orientation and wants more balls
|
|
351. |
Chad Johnson shoots off his mouth by saying
nothing but good things about Champ Bailey
|
|
350. |
Models claim Bill Cosby put something in the
Jello before giving them his
pudding pop
|
|
349. |
Abbreviated coaching tenures. Several coaches
should have been on this list but
aren't
|
|
348. |
Upon signing with the Baltimore Orioles, Jay
Payton is ready to battle the 'two
evil empires', book October vacations
|
|
347. |
Allen Iverson doesn't care where he gets traded
to as long as he gets out of
Philly. Not so fast, Charlotte
|
|
346. |
Sean Lennon has 2 ex-girlfriends perform on his
new album, 'I'm not Julian'
|
|
345. |
Aniston and Cox want to do a 'Friends' reunion
while everyone's careers are in
the tank
|
|
344. |
Angels almost traded for Todd Helton before
realizing they aren't retarded
|
|
343. |
Florida Gators were for championship game
rematches before they were against
them
|
|
342. |
Sebastian Bach says Axl Rose has not lost his
mind
|
|
341. |
Everybody wants Jason Jennings except the
Colorado Rockies, who are sure to get swindled
|
|
340. |
Top golf shots of 2006
|
|
339. |
Bones of first horse mutilated by UFO goes on
Ebay, satellite in pelvis intact
|
|
338. |
Missing girl was just shopping at Wal-Mart,
should be fine after a thorough
bathing
|
|
337. |
Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake will never
get married, although Diaz loves to catch bouquets and Timberland
likes to catch
|
|
336. |
Bookie takes plea deal, set to testify against
NHL coach Rick Tocchet. Wayne
Gretzky's wife's bust may come into play
|
|
335. |
Edmonton hometown scorers credit the Oilers with
34 hits to the Avs' five in a
7-3 loss
|
|
334. |
George Clooney mocks Frankenstein and She-man
|
|
333. |
Bears' Grossman admits to X-rated talk with
Vikings DBs, giving them an ass
pounding
|
|
332. |
Jay Cutler jerseys are selling like hotcakes the
week before he gets pancaked
|
|
331. |
Peter Forsberg rumored to go back to the
Avalanche, will be reunited with his spleen
|
|
330. |
Using your phone at a restaurant is now a good
thing, Startup offers 'pay by text message'
|
|
329. |
Sports Illustrated ranks top 10 "unstoppable"
NFL players in last 10 years. No. 2 and No. 3 have been stopped every
year
|
|
328. |
On a troublesome episode of "Teen Town," Peaches
is livid over the news that Courtney has her sights set on Donny. She
also can't believe she hasn't been invited to the slumber party
|
|
327. |
When your star player goes down all is not lost,
remember the Ewing Theory
|
|
326. |
You'd think watching Brett Favre get pounded
every week would get old. It doesn't
|
|
325. |
Bipolar Red Wings lose five in a row after
winning nine is a row
|
|
324. |
Carmelo Anthony and J.R. Smith are BFFs (with
cutest pic eva)
|
|
323. |
Ben Wallace benched by Bulls for wearing
headband, rather than for his poor play
|
|
322. |
Jay Z and Snoop Dogg's new albums show
mainstream hip hip to be stagnant. Where have all the Big L's gone?
|
|
321. |
Teri Hatcher demands specific shoes for scene,
claims the patent leather really brings out her face
|
|
320. |
Gwen Stefani may quit pop to spend more time
with her child and the guy who quit rock
|
|
319. |
NHL shootout adversely affects playoff seeding
despite the entertainment factor
|
|
318. |
NBA's leading scorer helps Nuggets win streak
hit 5, also leads the league in steals per game
|
|
317. |
Yoko Ono calls for Dec. 8 to be the day to ask
forgiveness, admits she can't forgive Mark David Chapman
|
|
316. |
Paula Abdul releases cardio workout with help
from NFL cheerleaders, sans scat
|
|
315. |
Latest American Idol winner's debut CD sounds
like the lovechild of "Sussudio" and "Head Over Heels", you know, like
Wang Chung
|
|
314. |
Carmen Electra spotted making out with Joan Jett
after Dave Navarro spotted making out with Greg Kihn
|
|
313. |
George Michael wants the other Wham guy to join
him on tour. Other guy asks after so many years of no contact, where
does he get off?
|
|
312. |
Police kill man outside strip club the day
before his wedding. Suicide by cop suspected
|
|
311. |
Linkin Park fan hacks lead singer's cell phone
records, threatens his wife trying to impress Jodie Foster
|
|
310. |
Orrin Hatch concedes the new Congress should
have enough votes to pass stem cell research, even to override a
Presidential veto
|
|
309. |
Denver Broncos may employ Cutler-and-Run
|
|
308. |
Barbara Walters nips O'Donnell-Aiken-Ripa feud
in the bud, says if Rosie was a tree she'd be a Boxwood
|
|
307. |
Biggest dumbass at
TomKat's wedding may have been Jennifer Lopez
|
|
306. |
Will Ferrell turned
down $29 million to do Elf 2, doesn't want to be over-exposed
|
|
305. |
Imams call for airline boycott by muslims after
detention. Sounds like a win-win for everyone involved
|
|
304. |
NFL Network to begin new series ranking the 40
Super Bowl champions, starts Thursday night after the Chiefs loss
|
|
303. |
Partially clothed sex offender found in high
school parking lot, claimed he was on the wrestling team
|
|
302. |
Adult sex shops moving to the suburbs, people no
longer have to get off near the interstate
|
|
301. |
Orlando Bloom dating Kirsten Dunst, or maybe
canoodling. Possibly just snogging. Whatever
|
|
300. |
Russia will be seeking volunteers to spend 500
days in 500-square-foot metal box to see what a trip to Mars will be
like, and if Stephen Baldwin can convince Pauly Shore to accept Christ
|
|
299. |
Sean 'Insert Nickname Here' Combs says a good
party must offer group sex, moreso than good music
|
|
298. |
Lindsay Lohan hooks up with soccer legend's son
,who was seen immediately afterward rolling on the ground holding his
crotch
|
|
297. |
Recap of all 17 years of MTV's Real World;
Drinking, fighting, sex
|
|
296. |
Authorites release sketch of "Jack The Ripper."
Keep an eye out, he's Hispanic
|
|
295. |
Chad Johnson believes the Saints Mike McKenzie
is a better corner than Champ Bailey
|
|
294. |
Hispanic activists: "If (Democrats) hope to
capture the White House in 2008, they better listen to us." They don't
like the "Tortilla Wall" either
|
|
293. |
Sacred cave destroyed by ex-NHL player, locals
want to stick him in the five hole
|
|
292. |
Man joins the 'Inordinate Amount Of Cash With
Mysterious Files On Laptop' Club
|
|
291. |
Gay outings are a product of gossip culture, gay
sex
|
|
290. |
Denver Broncos never fail to remind LaDainian
Tomlinson that he plays for the Chargers
|
|
289. |
Man serves Kobe Bryant with lawsuit over errant
elbow during 2005 game, evidence includes backdoor cut
|
|
288. |
Denver University swept defending champion
Wisconsin with a bunch of freshmen
|
|
287. |
Patrick Roy could have a been a Red Wing
|
|
286. |
Edmonton Oilers upset when Colorado defenseman
stops breakaway by giving Ryan Smyth a Charley Horse
|
|
285. |
Gunman takes hostages, demands prescription
drugs, becomes drowsy
|
|
284. |
Raiders player cost team chance at a win when he
declined to stay in bounds
|
|
283. |
Tom Cruise arrives in Italy sans Katie Holmes
for their wedding -- her winding mechanism needed service
|
|
282. |
Christina Aguilera is disappointed with the
first year of marriage, was counting on more grime and urine
|
|
281. |
Scarlett Johansson would choose a movie role
over boyfriend Josh Hartnett, maybe even a bundt cake
|
|
280. |
Actor is in awe of sharing stage with Molly
Ringwald, rejects claim she is just... void
|
|
279. |
Indianapolis Colts first team to go 9-0 in
consecutive seasons, goal of another division title in sight
|
|
278. |
Former Raider Jim Plunkett gives current
Raider's QB advice on not being sacked, the key is balancing your
enormous head
|
|
277. |
White burglar hits white homeowner with baseball
bat, apologizes and says he was looking for a black man, is tackled by
homeowner, burglar's black accomplice points gun at homeowner,
burglars leave. That about sums it up
|
|
276. |
Detroit outsources Grand Marshal of Thanksgiving
Parade to Sweden
|
|
275. |
Andrei Kirilenko still shoots like a fifth
grader, or a retarded Drago. Either one
|
|
274. |
D.C. United midfielder Christian Gomez was
selected Major League Soccer’s Most Valuable Player , second and third
place went to other guys you also haven't heard of
|
|
273. |
ACLU defends student whose newsletter gives men
tips on how to deny women pleasure during sex
|
|
272. |
NFL mid-season all-rookie team
|
|
271. |
Best NBA dunks of the week
|
|
270. |
Denver Nuggets' Kenyon Martin needs his knee
amputated
|
|
269. |
Elle Macpherson repels mugger with 'nipples of
fury'
|
|
268. |
American Idol's Kelly Pickler turns 6th place
into a No. 1 album on Billboard's
country chart
|
|
267. |
Dr. Z's NFL power rankings. Says the Broncos big
plays against the Steelers was
girly
|
|
266. |
Man attempts to scare coworkers, accidentally
blows his hand off. It worked
|
|
265. |
Bob Seger tour begins today, will be way up firm
and high
|
|
264. |
Cameron Diaz wishes she had a fuller booty,
meanwhile Kate Winslet likes her
saggy boobs and stretch marks. Really
|
|
263. |
NHL's most underrated and most overrated players
|
|
262. |
Photoshop Chinese Ambassador Wang Guangya, NBA
Commisioner David Stern and
American Ambassador John Bolton at a Knicks game
|
|
261. |
Woman gets back money she sent to scammer, will
be more careful next time she
plays Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes
|
|
260. |
Giving condemned inmates anti-anxiety meds
before death either makes their
execution safer for all, or allows those bastards unnecessary mercy
before rightful
smiting
|
|
259. |
After consulting 200 dogs, company creates CD
with songs they enjoy. Your dog
wants "Now That's What I Call Steak Vol. 6" (Admin added
last cliche line)
|
|
258. |
Sharon Stone bails on charity Barbie auction
when the doll looks nothing like
her. Think smooth skin, perky breasts and firm buttocks
|
|
257. |
Dinosaurs lived for 300,000 years after the
meteor strike that wiped them out
|
|
256. |
Scottish stone circles are better than
Stonehenge, which is crap
|
|
255. |
Howard Hughes still has a fortune and people are
still fighting over it, though
none of them are spruce geese
|
|
254. |
Carmelo Anthony falls victim to NBA's new 'no
biatching' rule, gets tossed for
tossing headband while walking to bench
|
|
253. |
Hugh Grant is invited to Elizabeth Hurley's
Hindu wedding in India, will be
asked to stay away from the Hijras
|
|
252. |
Darren McCarty's financial troubles have former
teammates happy they're not that
stupid
|
|
251. |
Minnesota Wild catch up to rest of NHL, create
policy to hide true nature of
player's injuries
|
|
250. |
Todd Bertuzzi might have back surgery to remove
yellow streak, may need new
underwear for same reason
|
|
249. |
Finalists for new Minnesota license plates do
not include house boat sex parties
|
|
248. |
Utah Jazz look to get back to playoffs after
three-year layoff; get Kirilenko's wife to allow him more than one
groupie a year
|
|
247. |
The Nine new serial dramas introduced this
season have mostly failed
|
|
246. |
Broncos' Rod Smith teaches kids about fiscal
responsibility, would like to kick ass of man who scammed him
|
|
245. |
People ran the 'Naked Pumpkin Run' with pumpkins
on their heads to hide their identities; they then gave their names to
newspaper for interviews
|
|
244. |
Skin cancer patch cures cancer without the
annoying scarring or infection
|
|
243. |
The NBA now has 83 international players, most
of them overrated bench trash riding out their ridiculous contracts
|
|
242. |
Heavy D sues insurance company over stampede at
charity event, blames Chunky A
|
|
241. |
Peter Forsberg urges teammates to not give up on
season. Used self as example when he overcame burst spleen, torn
hammy, torn shoulder, dislocated shoulder, torn abdominals, strained
ankle, bruised thigh
|
|
240. |
Toronto fans want asterisk by Buffalo Sabres
winning streak due to new shootout rules, may be only winnable venture
this year
|
|
239. |
No, you are not the only one going to a
Halloween party with a stingray sticking out of your chest
|
|
238. |
Carmelo Anthony went from a typical knucklehead
to the best player on team USA
|
|
237. |
Man, you should have been at Dave's last night
We're all sittin' around doing drugs when Donnie took a claw hammer to
the leg and Dave shot his brother in the stomach. It was killer
|
|
236. |
New York Knicks season ticket orders down 15% on
the news that the New York Knicks still suck
|
|
235. |
At 6-0, the Indianapolis Colts have plenty of
doubters. Bonus: Michael Irvin makes a coherent point
|
|
234. |
City of Boston has hit its liquor license cap
|
|
233. |
Caption Barack Obama taking control of the mic
|
|
232. |
Apparently, "I love a good session on the
Bishop's Finger" is not an appropriate beer advertisement
|
|
231. |
Man denied walk-thru privileges at Burger King
drive-thru makes bomb threat from
parking lot pay phone
|
|
230. |
Major League Baseballs biggest playoff
controversies of all time
|
|
229. |
Will Smith in group trying to buy 76ers, wants
to use older players with crappy
lyrics
|
|
228. |
Looking at blue eyes offers huge clue to
paternity. Looking into brown eye not
as effective, may have caused the problem to begin with
|
|
227. |
Man with amnesia identified by fiancé, about to
re-enter a whole new world of
pain
|
|
226. |
Thirteen-year-old gets hole-in-one. Dateline is
there
|
|
225. |
3 cheerleaders cuffed and led away after
removing 'Dougl' from 'Douglass Valley
Elementary School' sign
|
|
224. |
Putting ants on your child is an unacceptable
form of punishment
|
|
223. |
Ron Artest believes new album will change
people's minds about him, congruently
that people will actually listen to it
|
|
222. |
Rescue dogs who worked Ground Zero show none of
the respiratory ailments their
human counterparts have
|
|
221. |
Stories of how rock musicians got their guitars,
from Jimmy Page to Paul
Westerberg
|
|
220. |
Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey are not
lovers, just friends and having a ball
|
|
219. |
The Broncos John Lynch knocking Drew Brees out
of a game last year helped the Chargers in the quarterback dilemma
|
|
218. |
NFL players poll reveals the Patriots Rodney
Harrison as the dirtiest player, Broncos offensive line offended
|
|
217. |
Roman Circus where chariots raced excavated in
England, jars of ether found nearby
|
|
216. |
AOL laying off 400 customer service
representatives. Expected to retain jobs through abuse of management
for another couple months
|
|
215. |
Justin Timberlake rocks CBS' Victoria's Secret
show, looks great in animal print lingerie
|
|
214. |
The story of the last pick in the 1994 NHL
draft, Kim Johnsson. The Rangers picked his name out of a hat, now
he's a millionaire
|
|
213. |
Well-meaning teacher has students wear "drunk
goggles." Girl bashes her face on a desk and has sex with the whole
football team
|
|
212. |
Twenty-one finalist sites for the new "Seven
Wonders of the World." A henge made it, it's made of stone
|
|
211. |
Every NBA player ranked from best to worst
|
|
210. |
List of 10 manliest Halloween costumes include
not so manly pictures
|
|
209. |
Nine buildings have been excavated around
Stonehenge, whose purpose has been downgraded from astral calendar to
BBQ pit
|
|
208. |
Finally, a trend among celebrities that isn't a
cult: Britney Spears to adopt her very own African child
|
|
207. |
Tonight will be the Arizona Cardinals first
shellacking on Monday Night Football since 1999
|
|
206. |
PROTEST ENDS, GALLAUDET CLASSES SET TO RESUME
MONDAY
|
|
205. |
Ten NFL players that need to be traded by the
deadline
|
|
204. |
Northern Colorado punter still shaken weeks
after his unstabbed status was revoked by teammate
|
|
203. |
White House advisers mock, then exploit,
evangelical supporters
|
|
202. |
Sean 'Insert Nickname' Combs claims he only
'liked' Jennifer Lopez, did not
'like like' her
|
|
201. |
Ten NBA rookies who will have the biggest impact
|
|
200. |
Ethnocentric Scottish futurologist predicts golf
on the Moon by 2040
|
|
199. |
Pacers Stephen Jackson charged in strip club
bruhaha, claims the rounds he fired
off were not during a lap dance
|
|
198. |
Although Black Eyed Peas were allowed despite
vulgar music, China bans Jay-Z
concert for vulgar language
|
|
197. |
Qwest mogul selling DC United, will leave him
with only 3 Major League Soccer
money pits
|
|
196. |
Independent music stores still exist, and some
do well enough to upgrade their
retail space. Here's submitter's favorite
|
|
195. |
Classic rock driving ringtone sales, Inna Gadda
Da Vida costs 8 times the normal
price
|
|
194. |
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie seen at L.A.
steakhouse, purpose unknown
|
|
193. |
Scientists create robotic whiskers to help
understand why cats get their heads
stuck in grates
|
|
192. |
Levi's with built in iPod dock to hit the market
at $250 per unstylish pair
|
|
191. |
Merlot grapes remain unpicked and unsold based
on pedestrian wine consumers
being influenced by the movie Sideways
|
|
190. |
Britney Spears has ripped into husband Kevin
Federline in a new song inspired by
tigers
|
|
189. |
Narrowing the NFL Hall Of Fame candidates to the
top 25
|
|
188. |
Yale athletes appear on Cincinnati Bengals radar
for 2007 draft (I hate myself for using this lame-ass
cliché.)
|
|
187. |
Due to his Amish beliefs, NFL lineman will not
pursue charges against opponent
who stomped his face
|
|
186. |
Senator's 81-year-old father pleads guilty to
having sex in a car by pizzeria.
Popsicle stick and rubber band left at scene
|
|
185. |
Wayne Gretzky is betting on an improved, tougher
Phoenix Coyotes team. Well, at
least his wife is
|
|
184. |
Colorado Rockies' third baseman named NL player
of the week. Take that, playoff
teams
|
|
183. |
Cardinals beat Padres for seventh straight
postseason matchup
|
|
182. |
A's beat Twins to open the Yankee's championship
playoffs
|
|
181. |
Salt Lake strippers must wear pasties over
their sinful nipples, marry their
clients
|
|
180. |
Suing a newspaper for saying you went to a
swingers club and admitting it on
tape are not mutually exclusive actions
|
|
179. |
Tony Bennett does duets with 18 current stars.
Well, more current anyway
|
|
178. |
Former NFL lineman appeals limits on shooting
farm-raised elk in an enclosed pen
|
|
177. |
Top 10 NFL rookies thus far
|
|
176. |
Toddler survives for three days alone in the
woods, successfully eludes animals,
sexual predators
|
|
175. |
Details of Colorado shooter's suicide note sent
to family member
|
|
174. |
Tourist says space smells like 'burned almond
cookie', which is better than
expected 'decrepit cramped toilet'
|
|
173. |
Jake Plummer's brother writes Denver
sportswriter to complain that the
quarterback takes too much heat
|
|
172. |
Lost actors ordered to stop skinny dipping, deny
they were exploring sawyer's
hatch
|
|
171. |
Sports Illustrated puts together the best NHL
team, based on a $44 million
dollar salary cap
|
|
170. |
"Trivia is the glue that holds our society
together," says what's-his-name
|
|
169. |
Faith-based aid is so effective it would
continue under the Godless Church of
Liberalism
|
|
168. |
Man challenges panhandler's veteran status,
panhandler challenges man's
unstabbed status
|
|
167. |
Tony Blair says it was tough to be Bush's top
ally without getting a really cool
nickname
|
|
166. |
Men hope to break Guinness record of 69 hours
for continuously watching football
|
|
165. |
Top 10 biggest Heisman disappointments does not
include Charlie Ward
|
|
164. |
Steve Yzerman becomes Vice President of the
Detroit Red Wings, in charge of 8th
seed upsets
|
|
163. |
Subway's Jared has graduated to the elementary
school motivational speaking
circuit, engages children on the benefits of six-inchers
|
|
162. |
Man who suffered stab wound helping 65-year-old
mugging victim loses home to
medical bills. There is a lesson here
|
|
161. |
Failure to include "I approved this ad" could
cost candidate the election
|
|
160. |
City employee named Smoke brags about smoking
pot on MySpace
|
|
159. |
The Broncos have only scored one touchdown this
year. On the bright side, they
have allowed zero
|
|
158. |
Quarry with 10,000-year-old blood smeared tools
and bones found
|
|
157. |
Paleontologists find 67 dinosaur skeletons in
one week, say it was like shooting Bibles in a barrel
|
|
156. |
Peter Forsberg named captain of Flyers, intercom
system installed between trainer's room and ice
|
|
155. |
Africans believe polio vaccination is a western
devil plot to sterilize girls, spread HIV, import Sally Struthers
|
|
154. |
There are still clan struggles in Scotland, it's
just now they use their smarmy wit instead of swords
|
|
153. |
Roman bathhouse discovered by students, was like
a truck stop but in the Middle Ages
|
|
152. |
Indian tribes fight ski resort expansion on
sacred mountain, say past transgressions caused 9/11, Katrina and the
Columbia shuttle crash
|
|
151. |
Dave Matthews concert falls somewhere between a
Phish gig and a frat mixer without even taking the tour-bus crapper
into account
|
|
150. |
Todd Bertuzzi complains about the way he left
the Canucks, with the ability to continue his career, not suffer
post-concussion syndrome, not get dizzy and skate, etc.
|
|
149. |
It's gotten so bad for Maurice Clarett that it
is news when he's NOT arrested
|
|
148. |
Seven Colorado counties among the top 10 for
highest U.S. lifespan. Coincidently, also leads the nation in beer
production per capita. Or not
|
|
147. |
Man arrested for making 9-year-olds sell candles
in the rain, real crimes transpire elsewhere
|
|
146. |
It is okay to blow up prairie dogs in Colorado
|
|
145. |
"Top 10 NFL rookies to watch" has an undrafted
free agent at No. 2
|
|
144. |
Lacking usual cut blocks, Super Bowl MVP alleges
collar tackle, racism at Emmy party
|
|
143. |
Imagine a car made of spinach, running on
spinach, driven by someone who eats
spinach
|
|
142. |
Dumpster diving salad seekers sentence tossed
|
|
141. |
Which Broncos tailback will ring the Rams bell
has not been disclosed, like it
matters
|
|
140. |
Peter Forsberg back on ice after ankle surgery
just in time to pull hammy, strain
abdominals, dislocate shoulder, break collarbone, etc. You used to
this yet, Flyers
fans?
|
|
139. |
Uncontrollable 6 year old removed from flight,
hopefully precedent extends to
restaurants
|
|
138. |
Shadows expected from big bang have not
appeared, probably due to great lighting from every angle
|
|
137. |
Methamphetamine contamination can lead to
headaches, diarrhea, shortness of breath, skin rashes and birth
defects with none of the buzz
|
|
136. |
"The greatest loss is the dying I do inside a
little bit every day", says convicted murderer who wants a sex change
|
|
135. |
Ad writer who named the Ginsu knife dies.
Funeral to be attended by namers of Didi 7, Flowbee and Pearl Cream
|
|
134. |
Harley Davidson's 9/11 bikes commemorate
firefighters, loud rumbling noises
|
|
133. |
Contentious MLS match ends with Colorado
defender stuffing his jersey in his shorts and making obscene gestures
|
|
132. |
Paraglider taken down by remote control plane,
insurgents take notes
|
|
131. |
Colorado opens season against creampuff Division
I-AA Montana State, still loses
|
|
130. |
University students who left to assist Katrina
victims were punished academically
|
|
129. |
NHL winger arrested after going wild outside
nightclub, 2 minutes in the box will take on whole new meaning
|
|
128. |
Two top rookie quarterbacks face off tonight.
One is destined for greatness, the other plays for the Cardinals
|
|
127. |
Saxon belt buckle resembles door to the Mines Of
Moria
|
|
126. |
Shhhhh, Carmelo Anthony is playing the best
basketball on Team USA
|
|
125. |
Eva Longoria to be honored by group for
promoting positive image of Latina sexpots
|
|
124. |
First handwritten bibles by Benedictine
monastery since invention of the printing press to go on sale for
$115,000
|
|
123. |
Scientists think rods that get thicker when
stretched, and thinner when compressed are unusual
|
|
122. |
Former Broncos receiver's fines may be more than
salary
|
|
121. |
17-year-old breaks free of duct tape, stabs
intruder to death and saves family
|
|
120. |
State Senator criticizes desegregation, adds he
"doesn't have a racial bone in his body". Is asked if he would like
one
|
|
119. |
Handwriting expert who judged John Mark Karr's
samples is not an actual qualified handwriting expert, he just plays
one on TV.
|
|
118. |
America isn't dumb, we are a nation of pop
culture geniuses
|
|
117. |
Though midgets would be more entertaining,
mayoral vacancy may end in a coin toss
|
|
116. |
Five archaeologists sheltering in a canteen were
picked up and thrown through the air by a freak tornado. Just think of
the logistics
|
|
115. |
Denver Broncos superfan Barrel Man selling
barrel, autographed by Superbowl team on outside, who knows what's
inside
|
|
114. |
Back to school gadgets to help your child learn
and make you feel stupid
|
|
113. |
Team USA continues to pound opposition in games
that don't count
|
|
112. |
Archaeologists excavating Roman corn drier
discover either ancient murder or early Darwin Award winner
|
|
111. |
Family sues after cemetary paves road over
burial plots purchased in 1964
|
|
110. |
Progress reports on top 25 Major League Baseball
prospects. Funky butt lovin'
|
|
109. |
The Fray guitarist marries, ending hopes of
superior follow up album
|
|
108. |
Colorado Rockies starters lead the National
League in ERA
|
|
107. |
United States Basketball treats Puerto rico like
the bombing range that it is
|
|
106. |
450-year-old piece of pinky confirms Roman
Emporer Charles V had gout, no hand soap
|
|
105. |
Removing nude sculpture is a slippery slope, may
lead to removal of obese sculpture
|
|
104. |
Under a process that is hard to understand, ancient texts by
mathmetician
Archimedes reveal things that are hard to understand
|
|
103. |
Basque sheepherders in Idaho carved political
slogans and tales of sexual exploits on trees. Neither presumably
about sheep
|
|
102. |
Suspect in adult bookstore robberies arrested,
caught when alert teller noticed
bills sticking together
|
|
101. |
Recap of recent MLB deadline deals shows someone usually
gets screwed
|
|
100. |
Denver Broncos training camp opens with same question as
every year: which scrub will run opponents faces into the dirt for
1200+ yards?
|
|
99. |
Man seemingly robs adult businesses exclusively without grabbing porn
to complement the cash
|
|
98. |
In a relationship, it is sometimes necessary to fan the
flames of love. Adding gasoline is probably going too far though
|
|
97. |
Tops on the Denver Election Commision's 'to do' list is
preventing miscues, like the accidental loss of thousands of voters'
personal records
|
|
96. |
30-foot long bronze age boat found in Scotland, carved from
one single piece of oak
|
|
95. |
In Denver, 52 American, Palestinian and Israeli girls to
hash out Middle East problems. Just imagine the sexual tension
|
|
94. |
Hurricane Katrina uncovered 2000 year old Indian sites and
burial mound
|
|
93. |
Former Colorado Governor believes hispanics are an
underslass whose culture is not success-producing, wants a magic wand
to infuse them with traits of the Japanese and the Jews
|
|
92. |
Jamestown well produces old ass trash
|
|
91. |
Recall drive threatened after councilman says neighborhood has
some good looking women
|
|
90. |
USA Basketball to begin quest to regain respectability,
looking for those who can play basketball
|
|
89. |
Archaeologists decide whether to open 1300 year old
untouched mausoleum, weigh damaging contents against gaining tourism
money
|
|
88. |
Like its predecessor, "The Passion Of The Maya" may be
based in fiction (w/ crazy Mad Max pic)
|
|
87. |
Disregarding all the homes in Wales, town may build home for
brain injury patients on top of Hadrian's Wall
|
|
86. |
John Elway is the greatest Quarterback of all time (Original
Tag was 'Obvious')
|
|
85. |
Confederate sub may have sunk when crew opened hatch to
replenish the oxygen. Just think of the logistics
|
|
84. |
Man sentenced for stealing $500,000 from friend, $90,000
of which was spent at strip club
|
|
83. |
At memorial, Ken Lay's life outside Enron honored. Was
reminiscent of when Tookie Williams' life outside Crips honored
|
|
82. |
The group who gets less love than the Log Cabin Republicans?
British homosexuals who are 'passionate about Islam'
|
|
81. |
Built To Spill frontman Doug Martsch thinks a lot of the
group's back catalogue "sucked"
|
|
80. |
Carved stone found in 1872 is a mystery, mostly because no
one used it as a basis for a religion
|
|
79. |
U.S. court orders Chicago museum to sell Iranian artifacts
to pay victims of Iranian terrorism
|
|
78. |
Despite modern technology, Native Americans get credit for
rain falling on Denver this week
|
|
77. |
Ancient Chinese tomb may belong to the Wu clan. In lieu of
Wu, perhaps the Liu clan. Tang is not involved
|
|
76. |
The Romans third largest city, destroyed by Attila The Hun,
is being uncovered in Italy
|
|
75. |
Looters perforate Egyptian ground like swiss cheese, says
Swiss archaeologist Cornelius von Pilgrim
|
|
74. |
CSI Colorado tackles what killed 600 Nebraskan bison 10,000
years ago. Psst, it was boredom
|
|
73. |
Nepalese student hid in wilderness for 2 weeks because she
didn't want to go to work at ice cream parlor
|
|
72. |
ESPN picks the No-Star team, which is not as interesting as AVN's Brown-Star team
|
|
71. |
Supermax houses 400 of the worst prisoners in the country
including Zacarias Moussaoui, Ramzi Yousef, Theodore Kaczynski & Terry
Nichols. It is understaffed and Bush has denied it funding 4 times
since 9/11
|
|
70. |
How Washington helped to build Al Qaeda into a global threat
|
|
69. |
Colorado Governor calls special session to re-address
immigration, marrying 14 year olds, explain why he has a large head
and narrow shoulders
|
|
68. |
Tiffany's pays over $260,000 to settle allegations of
defective rattles that caused no injuries
|
|
67. |
Top 25 NHL free agents in line for Paris Hilton's services
|
|
66. |
Rumors for tonights NBA draft does not include really stupid
suits
|
|
65. |
USA Today Preseason NFL picks are out, most of your teams
still suck
|
|
64. |
MLB endures plague of "flappage," the first outbreak since
the '97 Porn Awards
|
|
63. |
Girlfriend gives NHL goalie the glove hand after fling with
Petri Dish
|
|
62. |
Experts confident Revolutionary War ship captained by John
Paul Jones can be found. Led Zeppelin tour less likely
|
|
61. |
Avalanche goalie looks to go 5 hole on Paris Hilton. Or
something
|
|
60. |
Oldest building in Wales still sucks because it's
Welsh
|
|
59. |
Ashlee Simpson urges girls to have a strong self image, save
up to have protruding skin and bone excised (Headline changed)
|
|
58. |
The iconic symbol of English royal power has been found
buried underneath Westminster Hall. It's a table
|
|
57. |
Having solved all other problems, Spanish politicians to
tackle apes' rights
|
|
56. |
Woman finds 30 skulls pilfered from Indian burial ground
in her attic, is pulled through fuzzy TV
|
|
55. |
By the most tenuous of connections, Carmelo Anthony
inadvertantly helped the Miami Heat get Shaquille O'Neal
|
|
54. |
Danica Patrick whines because she is an IRL IndyCar driver,
not because she's a woman
|
|
53. |
Rubbing broccoli on your skin may prevent skin cancer
|
|
52. |
Shawn Kemp tries out for Denver Nuggets, impregnates whole
team
|
|
51. |
Fire season in Colorado will be more interesting after all
the fire copters head to Iraq
|
|
50. |
Colorado Rockies embarrassed to be labeled as 'Christians'
|
|
49. |
The hidden dangers of belly fat, besides spending the night
alone
|
|
48. |
Video of Kiefer Sutherland tackling a Christmas tree
surfaces
|
|
47. |
NBA to overhaul playoff seeding because of a 1 year fluke,
division winners can't coast or rest any longer
|
|
46. |
It's Kidco all over again; Russell Stover Candies threaten
to sue some kids over the use of the word "sampler" (Headline changed)
|
|
45. |
Top 10 strangest sports scandal does not include David
Wells' breast reduction surgery
|
|
44. |
Tom Hanks best work does not include "Sleepless In
Seattle" or the drunk uncle on Family Ties
|
|
43. |
And now a question submitters girlfriend asks every night,
"Is the Big Unit washed up?"
|
|
42. |
Blackbeard's purported cannon to be raised, descendant clam
to remain below
|
|
41. |
Term limits have actually decreased the intelligence of the
legislature, if that's possible
|
|
40. |
Asshat drops 45 baby chicks off balcony for senior prank,
robbing from them a life of cages and hormones
|
|
39. |
We have secretly replaced this car thief’s regular .45
pistol with a pellet gun, let's see if 3 police officers notice the
difference
|
|
38. |
Joe Sakic passed Maurice Richard with the most overtime
goals in NHL playoff history
|
|
37. |
Greek shipbuilders to create vessel using ancient methods
and retrace the voyage of Jason and the Argonauts. Large claymation
monster will be included later
|
|
36. |
Some pictures from the 1st European pyramid, discovered in
Bosnia, that gets less attention than movie star’s kids who have dumb
names
|
|
35. |
Archaeologist suspects some of the 30 skeletons had been
buried alive before they were beheaded. Just think of the logistics
|
|
34. |
Man does not have a picture taken at the summit of Mount
Everest, loses car sales and files a lawsuit
|
|
33. |
Vancouver Canucks fail to make the playoffs
|
|
32. |
Police release picture of the suspect who shot Julius Hodge
of the Denver Nuggets. It's a tire
|
|
31. |
Korean scientists find substance that controls T-cells.
Still no cure for AIDS
|
|
30. |
Ciara and Bow Wow split over reports of dissatisfaction with
Lil' Bow Wow
|
|
29. |
Among the losers in the Colorado budget is Rep. Mark Larson,
R-Cortez, who lost his bid to prevent circumcisions for poor people
|
|
28. |
Fighting with helmets is dumb, especially if it's a
swordfight
|
|
27. |
After last night's win over the Lakers, Carmelo Anthony is
10 of 15 in game winning/tying shots, and is three short of Michael
Jordan’s career mark
|
|
26. |
Asshat who "accidently" smashed vases at a museum arrested
|
|
25. |
Invoking the Pete Townsend defense, suspected child molester
claims he was studying pedophiles and child porn for a manual for
parents on how to prevent child sexual abuse
|
|
24. |
Crusader for the suppression of critical thinking in the
classroom to be honored in Washington, DC by a made up conservative
group
|
|
23. |
God and the founders: The early American government
was not free of religion, but was not driven by religion
|
|
22. |
Airport screeners nab 83 year old woman with a bomb in her
depends
|
|
21. |
In contrast to the two best college basketball players in
the country, a list of sports figures who would never cry
|
|
20. |
Hominid skull, thought to be intermediate between the
earlier Homo erectus and the later Homo sapiens, found in Ethiopia.
Validity to be challenged by Christian fundamentalists, many of whom
are thought to be closet Homo sexuals
|
|
19. |
Man gets additional 45 days in jail after "Tookie"
Williams shirt is considered contempt of court. Good thing his shirt
for Beaver Liquors was left at home
|
|
18. |
Incan women sat on a stone phallus while priests poured
corn beer on them, eschewing more popular conception method of
pouring beer in them
|
|
17. |
Colorado Rockies players and management shocked at 69 win
prediction, vow to do their best to reach lofty goal
|
|
16. |
Star Jones almost died, suffering near cardiac arrest.
She is a lawyer, and what that means is she almost had a heart attack
|
|
15. |
Republican Ethics Commitee chairman ousted by Republicans for
investigating Republicans
|
|
14. |
Discoveries at the home of Thomas Edison's rival include
lung brush, flowbee and Didi 7
|
|
13. |
OU student on park bench most likely blew himself up
accidentally rather than on purpose, eschewing more popular method of
being blown on park bench
|
|
12. |
Scientists using satellites to find Mayan ruins have found
hundreds of new sites (w/ pic)
|
|
11. |
Richard Stamos wins "Dancing With the Stars." We know where
all the talent in that family went
|
|
10. |
Findings on Kennewick Man include he was tough as nails, he
was deliberately buried, and he predates God putting fixed lights in
the sky
|
|
9. |
Colorado woman fulfills quest to see a hockey game in every
NHL city
|
|
8. |
Controversial Kenewick Man will be studied using methods you
don't understand, and conclusions will be made that contradict the
bible
|
|
7. |
Justin Timberlake immersed himself as a tough guy with "NUTZ"
tattooed on his knuckles, briefly forgot real life of nuts on chin
|
|
6. |
Colorado the latest state attempting to stop trees from
marrying donkeys
|
|
5. |
Blackbeard's ship possibly found. Descendent clam found on
board
|
|
4. |
Religious trends for 2006 includes Bible
illiteracy
|
|
|
|
|
2005 |
|
|
|
|
3. |
Garden in Britain reveals hoard of Bronze Age artefacts. The
British spell the darndest things
|
|
2. |
Jets fans are the worst on the Web -- excluding Raiders fans,
of course, who are using their data ports to light up their Darth
Vader skull bongs
|
|
1. |
Killer's death sentence commuted to life after jurors were
found to have used the Bible during deliberations |
