YAY!  After a couple of years, I finally have gotten an email scammer to play with me!  I thought my 'urnfndbag' persona had been blackballed.  Nope!  My father sent me an email he got, I replied, and the game is on!  I feel like happy fun ball.

The first contact was from Rita Osborne, who has decided to donate to me ten million pounds.  Pounds of what, I don't know, but it's gotta be good! 

My notes are in BOLD, my misspellings are on purpose, and I may not make sense.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boring and believable:

From:  Rita Osborne <rita_osb02@adelphia.net>  [ Save Address ]
Reply-to: law_timartins@yahoo.de
To:  undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject:  MY ERNEST DESIRE .
Date:  Sat, 18 Aug 2007 13:26:57 -0400

Dearly Beloved,

Here writes Madam Rita Osborne, suffering from cancerous ailment. I am married
to Sir Williams an Englishman who is dead.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Ten Million Pounds
(10,000,000.00 Million Great Britain Pounds Sterling)which were derived from his
vast estates and investment in capital market with his bank here in UK.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the
cancerous problems I am suffering from.

Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.
With this hard reality that has befallen my family,I have decided to donate this
fund to you, I do hope you would be able to utilize this money for the said
purpose just as I am going to instruct herein. I want you to utilize the funds
by creating a charity foundation called WILLIAM OSBORNE FOUNDATION to assist
widows and help accident victims worldwide.

Contact our family lawyer with this specified email address Barrister Timothy
Martins (ESQ) Email:law_timartins@yahoo.de ,Tell him that I have WILLED £10,000,000 to you by
quoting my personal reference number
Law/chamber/solicitors/rt/osb/WILL/9834520012 .

Remain blessed.

Your Sister,
Madam. Rita Osborne.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I continue to use my Dave Ura Debag persona, email address urnfn-dbag@blank.com.  You Are An F N D Bag.  Remember that.  I followed Rita's directions.

Date:  Sun, 19 Aug 2007 08:34:25 -0700 (PDT)
From:  "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>  Add to Address Book  Add Mobile Alert
Subject:  Madam Rita Osborne
To:  lawtimartins@yahoo.de

My sister Madam Rita Osborne has WILLED me £10,000,000.  Here is her personal reference number:

Law/chamber/solicitors/rt/osb/WILL/9834520012 .
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her lawyer contacts me, Barr Timothy Martins.  What the hell kind of name is that?  I'm glad someone who knows the law is involved.

Date:  Mon, 20 Aug 2007 08:48:17 -0700 (PDT)
From:  "Barr Timothy Martins" <timothymartinsassociate@yahoo.com>  
Subject:  REQUIREMENT / CALL ME.
To:  timothymartinsassociate@yahoo.com

Goodday,
 
My Client, Mrs. Rita Osborne has informed me about her intension. She has also directed me to begin necessary arrangements with respect to the transfer of the funds.

I want you to send the following information so that i can forward an application to the Federal High Court to secure the letter of administration and any other document to present to the Bank for release of the funds to you.
 
1. Your Names in full.
2. Your Postal Address.
3. Your direct Telephone number.
4. Marital Status.
5. Occupation.
6. Your Age.
7. Scanned Copy Of A Valid Identification.
 
Endeavour to provide the details to enable me commence the paperwork. I also want you to call on my private line so we can discuss modalities on the successful transfer of the funds. You have to consider yourself a lucky individual to have come in contact with the Osborne Family, You have been nominated to get the funds tuned £10,000,000.00(Ten Million Pounds Sterlings) , As a result of the fact that she is very sick and wish to fulfill the will and wishes of her late husband Mr. William Osborne , And you could effectively get this funds through the UK bank where the funds are currently lodged without much difficulty due to technological advancement with the help  of Online Bank Transfer, My Private telephone number is + 44 (703) 194 8086 .
 
I shall be expecting your call. Thank you and have a nice day.
 
Yours faithfully,
Timothy Martins (ESQ)

Principal Attorney.
Timothy Martins & Associate
(Notary Public and Solicitors)
77 John Dalton Street,
Manchester (City Centre)
M1 1BY, England.
Tell: + 44 (0) 703-194-8086.
Fax; + 44 870 478 3499

Are 'Ten Million Pounds Sterlings' real?  I dunno.  He wants my info.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I decide it's time to start messing up the name.

Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2007 07:06:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Subject: Re: REQUIREMENT / CALL ME.
To: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timothymartinsassociate@yahoo.com>

Tiothy,
 
Sorry it took a moment to get get back to you, I had to transfer some bearer bonds to my european account.  You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork.
 
Here is my info you requested:
 
1.  Dave Ura Debag
2.  5086 Elegant Dr, The Hamptons, NY 11937  (I thought this sounded rich)
3.  Phone Number (212) 921-1210 (New York Scientology Org)
4.  I am married (I am not)
5.  I am a corporate real estate investor, I also engage in commodities trading  (I am not)
6.  I am 42  (I am not)
7.  ID - See attached  (It is not)
 
Thank you for this opportunity, I look forward to working with you.
 
Executively,
 
Dave Debag

I let him know I have some bearer bonds, may make him think I have lots of mullah.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GONE TOO SOON!  Good thing Rita emailed me randomly right before her demise.

Date:  Tue, 21 Aug 2007 07:24:37 -0700 (PDT)
From:  "Barr Timothy Martins" <timothymartinsassociate@yahoo.com>  
Subject:  GONE TOO SOON
To:  "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>

Dear David Debag,
 
It is with a heavy heart that i bring to your immediate notice,the demise of my client Mrs Rita Osborne in the early hours of this morning.I hope that this  news of the demise of Madam Rita Osborne is taken with a strong heart.
 
We take solace in the fact that she lived a life worthy of emulation.As Those who knew her were blessed by her.
 
MAY HER GENTEL SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE .
 
I have completed  my duties as your Attorney by procuring the necessary documents to facilitate the release of the fund(10 Million GBP) to you and  i will take same to the Bank so that they may be cleared and the transfer approved before we can proceed with the transfer.
 
I would however notify you once i receive positive words from the Bank so that you may contact them immediately providing your account information where you intend for the funds to be deposited.
 
 All I want from you  at this stage is your total commitment to this project and prompt response to matters that may arise as they come,and also ensure strict confidentiallity until funds have been successfully transfered to you because now that my client is late you have to ensure the safety of the funds in order to fufill her and her late husbands dreams.
 
I would give you guidelines on what next to do immediately i get words from the Bank.
 
Acknowledge receipt of this mail upon receipt.
 
I await to hear from you.
 
Sincerely,
 
Timothy Martins (Esq.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is so sad!  How did I get wrapped up in this glass case of emotion?  I wanna see her picture.

Date:  Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:52:57 -0700 (PDT)
From:  "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@yahoo.com> 
Subject:  Re: GONE TOO SOON .
To:  "Barr Timothy Martins" <timothymartinsassociate@yahoo.com>

Timothy,
 
You have my complete commitment.  I am sorry to here of Rita's passing.  It's like I actually knew her.  I look forward to building her a memorial with the funds.  Do you have a picture of her?
 
Cosmetically,
 
Dave Debag

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date:  Wed, 22 Aug 2007 01:00:34 -0700 (PDT)
From:  "Barr Timothy Martins" <timothymartinsassociate@yahoo.com>  
Subject:  FEEDBACK !
To:  "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>

Dear Friend,
 
Thanks for your update .
 
I would give you guidelines on what next to do immediately i get words from the Bank.
 
Acknowledge receipt of this mail upon receipt.
 
Sincerely,
 
Timothy Martins (Esq.)


 
NB; SEE ATTACHED A COPY OF MADAM OSBORNE'S RECENT PHOTO GRAPH ON HER HOSPITAL BED BEFORE HER UNTIMELY DEATH .
 


OK, now here is what he sent me.  Two asian women attending to what appears to be an Asian woman.  What, did he spend more that 2 seconds googling a woman in a hospital bed?  I think just a regular picture of when she was healthy would have been ok.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So I gotta know what's up with the Asian women.

Date:  Wed, 22 Aug 2007 15:48:26 -0700 (PDT)
From:  "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>  
Subject:  Re: FEEDBACK !
To:   "Barr Timothy Martins" <timothymartinsassociate@yahoo.com>

I received your message.  Her attendants are asian.  Which asian country was she in?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He ignores the 'Asian' question.  Notice his email address has changed.  Curious.  Barr Timothy Martins lets me know the easiest way for me to give him some money.

Date:  Wed, 22 Aug 2007 11:44:08 +0100 (BST)
From:  "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>  
Subject:  POSITION OF THINGS
To:  urnfn-dbag@blank.com

Dear Dave Ura Debag,
 
I write to inform you that the Bank has finally cleared you as the rightful beneficiary of the funds, as i was rightly informed by the Private Banking Manager Mr. Tony Hurley after he went through the WILL of Late Rita Osborne.
 
However there  are some charges that has to be paid up for account activation as he says that the account has been dormant for 2 years(since the initial time of deposit)which has made the account INACTIVE as such there cannot be any sort of transaction(withdrawal or deposit) carried out in that account until is REACTIVATED.
 
You would be required to pay a compulsory Reactivation charge of $5,000 only.
 
Considering the present position of things, and also due to the untimely demise of my client whom should have been responsible for this compulsory Bank charge, you would be expected to pay the $5,000.00 as would be directed in a later correspondence, as the beneficiary of the funds and next of kin to my late client.
 
Note that there is no way we can avoid paying this compulsory Bank charge ,also being an Attorney of the Law, and  the executor of the WILL i am  bound by the law not to be financially involved in this transaction.
 
I want you to make the funds available to pay this Bank charge, in order for us to proceed positively with this transaction as we have limited time at our disposal.
 
Worthy also, is the fact that this 10 Million Great British Pounds Sterling’s has to be in your possession before the WILL of Late Rita Osborne is read to the hearing of the Osborne family in Court as her decision to make you the beneficiary of the funds could be a disappointment to some of her late husband's relatives who may have had an eye on the funds.
 
She actually gave me instructions to this effect before her eventual demise.
 
I await your positive response in this regard.I expect to hear from you immediately you are ready to remit the reactivation charges to the banks account department via Western Union Money Transfer .
 
Find attached to this e-mail a copy of the original funds deposit certificate which was handed over to me by Madam Osborne before her death at the hospital.
 
 
Sincerely,
 
Timothy Martins (ESQ.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date:  Wed, 22 Aug 2007 15:51:02 -0700 (PDT)
From:  "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>  
Subject:  Re: POSITION OF THINGS
To:  "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>

Timortie,
 
That sounds good.  Thank you for paying the $5,000 for me upfront.  I will pay you back double that when I receive the funds.  Can you send me your bank account information so that I can initiate the tax forms needed on my end. 
 
Thanks Dave.

Him volunteering to pay the $5,000 he wants from me is nice of him, even though he didn't.  I usually try to ask the scammers for money first but this guy is in a hurry.  Letting them know I will be paying taxes on their scam always perks their interest.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He lets me know I should pay the $5,000, not him.  He understands the tax dilemma, but they do things differently in the UK.

Date:  Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:10:30 +0100 (BST)
From:  "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>  
Subject:  ACT AS DIRECTED FOR THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION
To:  "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>

Dear Dave Ura Debag,
 
I am in receipt of your mail and i must thank you for acting promptly.
 
I understand all that you have stated in your mail as regards to the fee being demanded by the Bank,i advice that you quickly send the money demanded by the Bank ,the reason for this is because this is the last stage of this transaction,and once the Dormant account is Reactivated,then the transfer would be effected the same day.
 
You should  have to find a way of paying this up yourself because there is no way that any part of the funds can be deducted because Sir William Osborne(deceased)at the time of depositing the funds gave specific orders to the Bank that "no part of this funds should be deducted for any reason as he wanted the whole 10 Million Pounds given to the beneficiary solely for the purpose of charity,i was opportuned to be physically present at this time.
 
It is quite understandable because here in the UK ,there is a tax due any sort of transaction,this of course makes it impossible to effect this transfer without making such payments as required by the Bank moreso,this is not a tax rather just a copulsory Bank charge to make the dormant  account active again in order that the 10,000,000.00 GBP can be transfered  hitch free.
 
In the light of this,and considering my status as a reputable Attorney of the Law,i cannot be financially involved with my clients in such matters as it is against the ethics of my profession.
 
I would greatly appreciate it if you could effect the account activation as soon as possible  as it is very important that we have the funds transfered from this Bank and in your possesion as soon as possible.
 
I want you to think seriously about this and reconsider all the good that you and your family could get and use to affect the lives of your extended family and neigbours who are less previledged.
 
 
Count yourself as lucky and act exactly as instructed by the Bank so that we may all wear a smile knowing that even at death Rita Osborne would be happy knowing that her hearts desire is fufilled.
 
I hope that i have infomed you rightly,and i expect to hear positively from you soon in this regard.
 
Sincerely,

Timothy Martins (Esq.)

He spells a lot of things wrong, and not just 'British' wrong.  It's not like he is making 'color' become 'colour'.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stall Stall Stall

Date:  Wed, 22 Aug 2007 16:22:48 -0700 (PDT)
From:  "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>  
Subject:  Re: ACT AS DIRECTED FOR THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION
To:  "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>

Mr. Tim,
 
I don't have $5,000 liquid cash to send.  I think I can call the bank and work something out.  If needed I will visit the bank, I am sure they have a branch here.  Who is my bank contact and what is their number?  I could probably come up with $3,000 by Friday, but I have very good credit.  Unless you are talking about British pounds.  I think $5,000 dollars is about 200 pounds.  Anyway, if I have to sell my grandfathers treasured stamps I will, I can just mail it.  What is the address?
 
Businessly,
 
D. Ura Debag
 
I like him know I don't have the cash even though I have hinted I am rich.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He kind of ignores me and just reiterates what he wants.

Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:47:56 +0100 (BST)
From: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Payment Advice.
To: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>

Hello Dave Ura Debag,

Find below preferred mode of payment as to how to remit the refundable account reactivation charges .

You would be requested to transfer the total amount of $5,000 Usd via Western Union Money Transfer to the banks account officer Mrs.Rosemary Hampshire with details provided below .

Payment is to be made via western union money transfer to the Bank account officer with the information below.

Name: Rosemary Hampshire
Address: 145 Fenchurch Street EC3, London
Amount: $5,000.00 only

Immediately the funds have been transfer, You would be requested to provide the following information which would enable the bank offcial receive the reactivation charges .

Senders Name
Senders Address
Money Transfer Control Number
Exact Amount Sent .

Upon receipt of the account reactivation charges same would be deposited into the account to conclude the account reactivation formalities. You would be requested to provide the bank full banking information where you intend receiving the amount immediately the account has been reactivated for E-BANKING .

Sincerely,

Timothy Martins (Esq.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't even read that shit.  Here comes some mumbo jumbo and stall tactics.  I also let him know I have money even though I don't have money.

Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2007 08:00:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Subject: Re: Payment Advice.
To: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>

Mr. Barr Timothy,

Seeing as how I am listed as the beneficiary, I think I will take some time to make sure this is done right. I am going to draw up the disbursement papers and set the financial fiduciary anomolies ahead of the curve for the conglomerate I will fund. Having inherited a large sum of money from my uncle and being the executor of his multimillion dollar will, I know these things take time. It should only take me about three days to complete what is needed.

In the meantime, can you forward me the bank contacts name and number, as I will need to speak to him/her about the notary assignments of discharge.

How is your family in this time of distress? Did they know her well? Are you doing ok in this grievous time? You must be painted up like Jezebel!

Fiduciously,

Ura Debag

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He kind of ignores me and keeps going

Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2007 19:35:16 +0100 (BST)
From: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: MODALITIES FOR A SUCCESSFUL TRANSACTION .
To: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>

Dear Dave Ura Debag,

Thanks for the e-mail update .

As regards to the present position of things, You are requested to immediately have the account reactivation charges sent out to the banks accounts officer via Western Union Money Transfer with avail in formations provided to you earlier .

More so, You are to note that immediately the account is reactivated for Electronic banking the funds would Be effectively transferred to your account in the United States within 48 Banking hours hitch free , My client even in her grave would be very happy to see us carry out her wishes accordingly , As we have gone a long way with this transaction .Find below the contact information of the transferring bank in charge .

Brown Shipley Private Bank
Tony Hurley (Head of Private Banking)
Fax: +(44) 870 478 3925
Service E-mail: admin@bspbmails.org

Hence, You are requested to immediately contact the bank and make verifications as regards to the success of this transaction, You are requested to immediately have the account reactivation charges transferred to the bank via Western Union Money Transfer with information provided below .

You would be requested to transfer the total amount of $5,000 Usd via Western Union Money Transfer to the banks account officer Mrs.Rosemary Hampshire with details provided below .

Payment is to be made via western union money transfer to the Bank account officer with the information below.

Name: Rosemary Hampshire
Address: 145 Fenchurch Street EC3, London
Amount: $5,000.00 only

Immediately the funds have been transfer, You would be requested to provide the following information which would enable the bank official receive the reactivation charges .

Senders Name
Senders Address
Money Transfer Control Number
Exact Amount Sent .

Upon receipt of the account reactivation charges same would be deposited into the account to conclude the account reactivation formalities. You would be requested to provide the bank full banking information where you intend receiving the amount immediately the account has been reactivated for E-BANKING .

Sincerely,

Timothy Martins (Esq.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll stall a little longer before I start getting to weird with him

Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2007 16:47:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Subject: Re: MODALITIES FOR A SUCCESSFUL TRANSACTION .
To: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>

Mtr. B. Tim. Masters,

How is the family?

I am gathering the funds now. Hopefully they will be ready to be sent tomorrow. I think I may send along some baked goods. I just feel so bad about all the work everyone is doing. When the funds come thru I am going to build a memorial anyway. I may just put the $5,000.00 fee into an escrow account for the memorial. I have worked on other charitable projects and banks have been more than willing to donate the fees. Who at the bank should I contact about this? I may need the local media contacts as well to bring attention to the dear, dear lady.

The funds should be ready by tomorrow.

Thanks U-R-A D-Bag

I did spell out You Are A D Bag (U-R-A D-Bag) for him.  He didn't get it.  They must not have D-Bags where he is from.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 24 Aug 2007 04:50:22 +0100 (BST)
From: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.co.uk. Learn more
Subject: HAVE IN HAND THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION .
To: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Dear Dave Ura Debag,

Thanks for the e-mail update .

I really appreciate your effort shown towards my clients request, Madam Osborne would be very happy even in her Grave just to see us accomplish her wishes accordingly .

It might interest you to know that 45% of the funds goes into the charitable foundation to be set up by you under the name "WILLIAM OSBORNE FOUNDATION", 45% goes to you as the administrator, 5% for all expenses incurred by all parties during the course of the transaction and the final 5% for my legal representation services.

You have stated the funds would be transferred tomorrow to the banks accounts officer via Western Union Money Transfer i.e. Rosemary Hampshire .

Immediately the funds have been transfer, You would be requested to provide the following information which would enable the bank official receive the reactivation charges .

Senders Name
Senders Address
Money Transfer Control Number
Exact Amount Sent .

Upon receipt of the refundable reactivation charges, The account would be immediately reactivated for E-banking, The funds would be effectively transferred into your account within 48 banking hours immediately the account is active .

Acknowledge receipt of this e-mail and do the needful as regards to the success of this transaction, Please endeavour to carry out the payment transfer tomorrow as earlier stated and immediately provide me with in formations needed to receive the funds as soon as the payment has been transfer .

My family is very well and fine .

Kind Gesture.

Timothy Martins .

He just keeps calmly explaining things away and dismissing all my ideas.  He barely mentioned his family, I will want to know more.  I am going to have to start getting weird with him.  He has enough time invested now that he will probably tolerate a lot.  We will see.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 24 Aug 2007 07:24:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Subject: Re: HAVE IN HAND THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION .
To: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>

Scamothy, (Scam!)

I am still gathering the funds, it may take me a couple days as the bank needs certified signitures for the withdrawal of such a large amount. My fathers company has a branch in London. I am thinking I may transfer the money thru the corporate entity and have one of his armored transports deliver the cash. It is up to you, this way we could make sure it is not lost. I have had problems with Western Union before, like when I funded my moon base project concerning heliocentric quasar tumors.

I will let you know the status.

Can you send me a picture of Rita when she was healthy? I don't want to remember her as that shell in the hospital bed.

Abraciously,

URA BIG DBAG, PHD

I want to see if he can match up a picture of a person with that weird hospital photo from above.  I am now also a doctor of DBAGS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No picture :(

Date: Sat, 25 Aug 2007 17:51:31 +0100 (BST)
From: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: PAYMENT SHOULD BE SENT VIA WESTERN UNION .
To: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>

Dear David Debag,

Thanks for your e-mail .

You are requested to effect to the payment of the account reactivation charges via Western Union Money Transfer as the bank does not accept cash payment in such cases .

Immediately the funds have been transfer, You would be requested to provide the following information which would enable the bank offcial receive the reactivation charges .

Senders Name
Senders Address
Money Transfer Control Number
Exact Amount Sent .

Upon receipt of the account reactivation charges same would be deposited into the account to conclude the account reactivation formalities. You would be requested to provide the bank full banking information where you intend receiving the amount immediately the account has been reactivated for E-BANKING .

Sincerely,

Timothy Martins (Esq.)

He just kind of keeps repeating himself.  He may be the most boring scammer ever.  I can't get him to start typing extemporaneously, he just sticks to the script, probably just copies and pastes off of scammers handbook.  From here on out I will only type nonsense and make demands.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 27 Aug 2007 07:33:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Subject: Re: PAYMENT SHOULD BE SENT VIA WESTERN UNION .
To: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>

Tom,

I spoke with the bank manager this morning. I mailed the check with return receipt authorization protection. The bank teller was suspicious of my large withdrawal and asked if their representative could handle the transaction in England, I agreed having no choice. Your contact should receive the check within a few days accompanied by a bank representative and a guard with print ID retina scan. This is a farce. Once the check has been received and verified, the operating rhesus monkey will whisk you to me for administration of the hantavirus antivirus, making the fluid tract clear for the 10 million payment you owe me.

Have my $10 million waiting for me, the guard who brings my money will take it immediately and will accompany you here. A plane ticket has been bought, you will be brought to me for inspection. Be prepared for the "White Glove Treatment'!

Your Friend,

Because U R A D BAG

One of my favorite things is to tell them I did what they want, but incorrectly.  I told him it was a farce.  From here on out it is on him, I could not have been more honest.  Except for the part about the 'operating rhesus monkey will whisk you to me for administration of the hantavirus antivirus, making the fluid tract clear'.  That's my bad.  This has gone on long enough.  From now on I will make fun of him and make outrageous demands.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barr Tim is not happy.  I found out Barr means Barrister.  The more you know.

Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2007 17:38:30 +0100 (BST)
From: "Barr Timothy Martins" <tim_associate@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT.
To: "David Debag" <urnfndbag@yahoo.com>

Dear David Debag,

I am in receipt of your mail, I must confess that i am utmost disappointed at your show of distrust for me, even after all i have been through to ensure a safe transfer of this funds to you.

For you to take this as some sort of hoax or scam is very insulting considering my status in the society and i demand an instant apology from you.

However i have attached to this mail the following which would prove the authenticity of this transaction.

1. Scanned copy of my license of Practice
2. Certificate Of Deposit
3. Scanned photo graph of Late Rita Osborne .

I am done with my duties as the executor of the will, the ball is now in your court as the beneficiary, to ensure that the funds are transferred to you at your most convenient disposal.

David, I would want you to re-think about your final decision towards the funds transfer of Mrs. Osborne's decision; Mrs. Osborne would not want a situation where the money would be used for any ungodly matter, Moreover she has taken this decision because she knows you would be in a better position to carry out the task.

You need to wake up your ideas in life, kindly acknowledge the receipt of this mail and get back to me regards to your next line of action.

Not Happy.

Barr Timothy Martins.

I love how he signs 'Not Happy'.  This makes me gleeful.  Look at this bullshit he sent me.





What?  Did it take them 5 whole minutes to make these?  Plus he sent me the same damn picture of asian women in the hospital.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I felt our correspondence could use more 'Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome'.  None of this is MY fualt, it's his.  He needs to look in the mirror!

Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2007 15:04:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Subject: Re: THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT.
To: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>

Dear Not Happy,

It wasn't me, it was the bank that caused this remedial infestation. Did you even read? I feel you are beneath the level of expertise needed to continue this foundry exercise. I demand a new Barrister immediately! Your incompetence has proved to be a waste of time and idle hands make vee double you bugs. I have put a hold on the transaction until you prove you know what you are doing. All I want is life beyond thunderdome, is that so hard to procure? Who runs Bartertown, you ask? MasterBlaster. I think I will report you to the National Register of Barrister Developements for revocation of your repugnant licensable detraction!

Not-er happy-er,

U R A DBAG

Not-er Happy-er.  Enough said.

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Having been harshly rebuked, Tim has a more conciliatory tone.

Date: Wed, 29 Aug 2007 10:14:51 +0100 (BST)
From: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: FINANCER ARRANGEMENTS .
To: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>

Dear Friend,

Compliments of the day to you.

I quite understand your position towards the present situation of things, In this regards i have been able to pull some resources together just to raise the account reactivation charges.

I have contacted a financer to raise us the funds needed to obtain the funds needed to reactivate the Dormant account. I would want you to provide me with your full banking information where you intend receiving the funds covering the administration fees, the financer says the funds would be transferred directly into your account, after which you would remit the funds to me for the said purpose.

Endeavor to send me your banking information which include.

BANK NAME:
BANK ADDRESS:
ACCOUNT NUMBER:
ACCOUNT NAME:
PERSONAL TELL NUMBER:

Immediately i receive the above named information, I shall conclude arrangements as to how the funds would be transferred you, as you know we would not be given the whole time in the world to get the transfer started, Confirm receipt of this mail and act as i have instructed herein.

Sincerely,

Timothy Martins.

He knows I don't stand for bologna.  I have him right where I want him.  He has spent too much time trying to get money from me to quit.  Even though I am erratic he is still trying.

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I will rub my advantage in.

Date: Wed, 29 Aug 2007 15:52:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Subject: Re: FINANCER ARRANGEMENTS .
To: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>

Dear Sheepish One,

I endeavor to send you what you may think is bank information.

BANK NAME: Reserve Bank Of South Africa  (this is bank info from Dr. Paul Kamborra, another scammer I messed with.)
BANK ADDRESS: P.O. Box 7849 12-13 Highland Road Pretoria South Africa
ACCOUNT NUMBER: G658697697
ACCOUNT NAME: Dave Ura Debag
PERSONAL TELL NUMBER: 796796

This is your last chance. If I don't receive restitution in the form of monetary rotator saliva glands, I will send my money to Mr. Shinkyfufu Badmus (Another scammer I messed with) to complete the transaction.

Impatiently,

You Are A DBAG

I just wrote he was was a dbag.  We'll see if he gets it yet.  I think I will get real aggressive.

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The jig is up!

Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 08:03:03 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Subject: BAD NEWS!
To: timassociate@yahoo.com

TOM,

I was contacted by the governmental agency for unauthorized funds transfer, in conjunction with the Federal Bureau Of Investigation, they made me tell them everything, they have all our emails! They are headed over here right now to pick me up. They say I am going to jail and they are coming for you! Hide quickly! They have all your addresses and names! They say your emails have been tracked to your address and computer! I think I may make bail in a couple of days, I will try to be in touch.

Running Scared,

Dave Debag!

I'm kind of bored, so I'll see if I can wrap this up.

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Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:50:21 +0100 (BST)
From: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: BAD NEWS!
To: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>

OGUN KILL YOU OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH

Although that first word is a little hazy, I think he is mad at me.  I think I wrapped it up.

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Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2007 07:39:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David Debag" <urnfn-dbag@blank.com>
Subject: Re: BAD NEWS!
To: "Barr Timothy Martins" <timassociate@yahoo.co.uk>

I guess that means the deal is off. :(

Last word!  We'll see if he responds.